Boss to employee: Read between my lips.
Queens, New York
Overheard by: Socket
Boss to employee: Read between my lips.
Queens, New York
Overheard by: Socket
Construction worker: Man, just being in this place makes me want
to learn how to read.
841 Broadway
New York, NY
Exec: I was in this fabulous hotel in Banff, in Alberta. And these Japanese businessmen were there too, and you know, the Japanese are so…what’s the word? Xenophobic. These Japanese businessmen come walking down the hall, seven abreast, as though everyone should just naturally get out of their way. So I just clipped the guy on the shoulder and spun him around. And he looked at me with this look and I said, “Hey, pal; welcome to America.” Actually, it was Canada, but same difference.
2000 Westchester Avenue
Purchase, New York
Overheard by: Emilio Lizardo
Boss: What time did this get here this morning?
Employee: Jesus!
Boss: Uh… What time is the exterminator going to be here tonight, and are you staying?
Employee: Jesus!
Boss: Why are you answering all my questions with “Jesus”?
Employee: A woman on the train this morning was holding a sign that said “Jesus is the only answer.” I thought I'd try to prove that. From your response, I'm assuming that isn't true.
Manhattan, New York
Coworker #1: So, if I bought a bottle of vodka…
Coworker #2: It's 9:25 am.
Manhattan, New York
Co-worker on phone: That’s what happens when there are too many chefs and not enough cooks!
465 Main Street
Buffalo, New York
Coworker #1: Will you come over and put a cold compress on my head?
Coworker #2: Sure, what do you want me to wear?
355 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: BiPolar
Coworker, in graphic design lab: Now I have balls in my ass, too!
Utica, New York
Overheard by: dont wanna know
Store clerk to weird customer: Sir, we don't carry that, that only exists on television.
Long Island
Senior-looking employee to another: So there's the men's room. Do you want coffee or tea?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: carmine
