New York

Bathroom patron #1: You're takin' another shit? What are you, sick or something?
Bathroom patron #2: Nah, man, it's healthy. You're supposed to be takin' seven to ten shits a day.

Manhattan, New York

Co-worker #1: Every time I see you you have Subway.
Co-worker #2: Yup, I get it every day.
Co-worker #1: What are you, Jared?

200 Park Avenue
New York, NY

Boss: But it shouldn’t be done this way!
Boss’s boss: I know. We’re getting fucked. But let’s just enjoy it.

420 5th Avenue
New York, NY

Co-worker: This thing might fall on my head.
VP: Well, just hope that doesn’t happen, then.
Co-worker: It’s better than you falling on my head.
VP: No thanks, you aren’t my type.

4925 Main Street
Buffalo, New York

Guy in elevator: Was he gracious?
Girl in elevator: Yes.
Guy: He’s such a dweeb.

Park Avenue
New York City, New York

Overheard by: BeccaGo

Training teacher: So, what are some things that you guys think are covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act?
Male teen student: Obesity?
Training teacher, with blank stare: Um, I don't think so. Anyone else?
Female teen student: How about being an old person?
Training teacher: Oooooooh boy. How about we just take a look at this slide up here…

Duane Reade Career Center
Manhattan, New York

Geek #1: Yeah, I'm pretty good with the chicks these days.
Geek #2: Oh, yeah? How?
Geek #1: I just walk up to them and be like “how you doiiiinn'” and I got them.
Geek #2: Then why are you always with me?

SUNY
New Paltz, New York

Co-worker #1: Let’s go.
Co-worker #2: Can I go to the bathroom first?
Co-worker #1: So go! You have to do it with yours, not with mine!

1250 Broadway
New York, NY

Designers talking about an ad: I’d throw a white girl in there, for shits and giggles.

Midtown
New York City, New York

Attorney on phone with secretary: Hello. (pause) A package? Who's it from? He brought it by hand? Can you open it for me? Just want to make sure it isn't a bomb. (pause) What? No, not like that, I mean a legal bomb. Like detrimental paperwork.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Office Manager