Very old man: Dammit, I forgot to take my medication.
Adult son: So take it now.
Very old man: I'm supposed to take it right after meals.
Adult son: But you just finished your meal.
Very old man: I know, so I'm going to take it now.
Adult son: So you didn't forget.
Very old man: Yeah, but if I didn't remember, I would have forgotten it.
Long Beach Diner
Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Female Asian coworker: I need to lose weight. I'm considered fat for an Asian girl.
Male Asian coworker: But you're more like a black girl. Asian men don't want the normal Asian girl. We're tired of body surfing!
Chambers Street
New York City, New York
Overheard by: uncivil servant
Coworker to another: Are you a Yankee fan or a baseball fan?
E 42nd street
New York City, New York
Guy: I have to go see my mom, she just had her hip replaced.
Intern: Where is “hipper place”?
New York City, New York
Overheard by: JDS
Coworker: Supposedly it's called “wanger.” You know, what people used to call each other in the 5th grade?
New York City, New York
Elderly man, yelling at pharmacist: What the hell do I need a 90-day supply for? How do I know I'm going to live for another 90 days? Change this to a 30-day supply. If I need more, I'll come back!
CVS Pharmacy
Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Office executive: Did you hear that 38th Street is like, the new… Street?
W 38th St
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Sarah
Nurse: Do you smoke?
Older man: No.
Nurse: Have you ever smoked?
Older man: Yes.
Nurse: And how many cigarettes a day did you smoke?
Older man: Uh, three. No, five. A pack.
Nurse: And when did you quit?
Older man: Uh, yesterday.
Nurse: You're still smoking, aren't you?
Older man: Yes.
Hospital
Harlem, New York
Overheard by: Natalie
Assistant on phone: Hello, Lucy Smith*'s office. (pause) No, she's not available, she's out having an abortion. (pause) Sure, I'll give her the message. Have a good day. (hangs up)
Lucy (angry): What?! Who was that?!
Assistant: Some pro-life group asking for donations.
Lucy: Oh, okay, good work.
Lexington Avenue
New York City, New York
Patricia: Sometimes, and it depends on the day I'm having, I am either “Positive Patty” or “Pessimistic Patricia.”
IT chick: Yeah? Sometimes, and it depends on the day I'm having, I put whiskey in my coffee.
University of Rochester, New York
Overheard by: Jennay
