New Jersey

Manager: Go home every day and watch Dukes of Hazzard. Problem solved.

Friendly's Ice Cream
Convent Station, New Jersey

Law firm partner: How much does it cost to raise a cock?

Cherry Hill, New Jersey

Male worker #1: He's planning on buying a lot from our company. Now that's the type of customer you really want to make love to.
Male worker #2, taking off jacket: Alright, grease me up!

Freehold, New Jersey

Overheard by: Max

Worker lady: This year is my last birthday.

Post office, 10 Atlantic Street
Newark, New Jersey

Suit: I want to take a personal day on Friday.
Boss: Okay, no problem. What are you doing on your day off?
Suit: I’m not telling you — it’s a personal day!

2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer

Loud lady on cell: [Supervisor] called this morning to see if I was coming in. What does he care? I had a meeting this morning with him and Sam*. What were they going to do, ask me why I haven’t been performing well? Did they want me to say I’ve asked to be transferred more than once because I’ve been sleeping with my supervisor and he won’t stop harassing me? You know, I probably shouldn’t be talking about this right in front of my office.

371 Hoes Lane
Piscataway, New Jersey

Overheard by: Justtryingtohaveacigarette

Boutique girl #1: We could go out to Dexter's after work, but there's a Beatles cover band there tonight.
Boutique girl #2: Ugh! Yeah? Oh well…
Boutique girl #3: I don't even know any of their new albums.

New Jersey

Executive #1: You go first.
Executive #2: Why?
Executive #1: I always go first…I don’t know what your problem is.
Executive #2: I don’t have a problem; why can’t you just go up the stairs first?

137 Ocean Avenue
Lakewood, New Jersey

Real estate agent #1: My son is teaching himself how to play guitar! He's getting real good!
Real estate agent #2: That's great! What's he using?
Real estate agent #1: This program called Guitar Hero.

Morris Plains, New Jersey

Overheard by: JMB

Cashier: Is that the one you were engaged to?
Manager: Yes.
Cashier: Who broke it off?
Manager: He did. But I’m glad he did — he was a nutcase.
Cashier: Oh. Really crazy or just strange?
Manager: Crazy. Didn’t I tell you? He proposed to me again at his mother’s funeral after he had broken off the first engagement.
Customer and cashier: What?!
Manager: Yeah. He got down on one knee in front of all his family as they were lowering the freakin’ casket with his dead mother into the ground and asked me to marry him again. I said no, of course.
Cashier: Well, that’s awkward.

Grocery store
New Jersey

Overheard by: Laura