Worker: So last night I got the '08 Altima I was telling you about. It's got the continuously variable transmission, so when you accelerate it doesn't have to downshift for power.
Coworker: Cool! What color is it?
Worker: Black on black.
Coworker: Just like inner city crime!
Omaha, Nebraska
Man to lady holding her stomach: Why are you walking like that?
Woman: This is how you're supposed to walk when you're pregnant.
Omaha, Nebraska
Interviewer: On a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being the lowest, and 10 being the highest…
Interviewee (interrupting): Do you ever do 1 as the highest and 10 as the lowest?
Interviewer: No, I really like 10 as the highest.
Interviewee, thoughtfully: Yeah, I do too…
Omaha, Nebraska
Nurse: It didn’t hurt my tongue when they pierced it–just that first pop.
Tech: Ooooh, my asshole just puckered up!
Receptionist: Quit talking about tongues and assholes!
Front Desk, Medical Clinic
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: xrayguy
Receptionist, putting her coat on: So, I’ll see you guys on Monday, have a good weekend!
Coworkers, walking out of their offices: Uh… You know it’s only four o’clock, right?
[Silence.]Receptionist, removing coat: Dang, I was almost out the door too. Teaches me to say goodbye.
Dodge Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Brandy
Female clerk: Hey *Mark, you don’t sound like you want to be here today.
Male clerk: And you want to be here today?
Female clerk: You want me to rub it off for ya?
Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Db’s Mom
Manager: I don’t know how you do things at your branch, but around here, we cut corners.
Sales associate: So basically you’re saying that you are only doing things right because I am here?
Manager: Exactly. Enjoy your visit.
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Hand me the Scissors…
Clerk: You got time to whip this big one out?
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Doug’s Mom
Flight attendant #1: I used to get high before studying for tests. Did you ever try it?
Flight attendant #2: No, no, I never did that.
Flight attendant #1: It really works… Hey, did you study the new rules for flights shorter than two hours? Lots of information.
Flight attendant #2: Are you high right now?
Flight attendant #1: … Why do you ask?
United flight
Nebraska
Overheard by: Ken
