Woman #1, in line to get coffee: Do you smell dog? I smell dog. Like, a wet dog or something.
Woman #2: Oh, it's probably my pants. My dog slept on them last night and I didn't have a clean pair, so I wore them.
Woman #1: Yeah. It looks like you have some dog hair on them too.
Woman #2: It will probably just brush off by the end of the day. (walks away nonchalantly with coffee in hand)
Downtown Omaha, Nebraska
Girl: My mom dropped a plate and it shattered all over the floor and she cut her foot pretty bad. I was cleaning up the pieces…
Guy: Was it a paper plate?
(girl stares at him)
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: And he's not even blonde…
Debt collector: Yes, sweetie, those are like the big balls grandma has…
Nebraska
Clerk #1: You can’t do nuts?
Clerk #2: Nope, nuts don’t like me.
Clerk #1: Nuts don’t like me sometimes, too.
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Db’s Mom
Woman in cubicle, after chatting for half an hour: Wow. What a waste of time and resources.
Nebraska
Coworker #1: You know, shoot them with shotguns, like with tranquilizers.
Coworker #2: Bang! Bang! (makes shotgun motions)
Coworker #3: That's how the doctor put in my IUD.
Omaha, Nebraska
Manager: I've got it up. I just don't know how to use it.
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Doug's Mom
Woman holding inhaler: So I just cock it and suck on it?
Nurse: You might not want to put it just that way.
2955 Farnam Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Accounting #1: So I'm not sure how she got the idea to put ham on the fan blades. Maybe tv? I don't think ham is really salient to most people. But I can see tying something up there to watch it spin around…
Accounting #2: Maybe some shiny paper or something like that, I guess.
Accounting #1: Or headless Barbie dolls.
Accounting #2: Sometimes I wonder about you.
Accounting #1: Headless Barbie dolls wrapped in ham.
Omaha, Nebraska
Old sales associate: Can I help you find something?
Customer: Yeah, where are the TV trays?
Old sales associate: Huh?
Customer: TV trays — which aisle are they in?
Old sales associate: I don’t know what those are.
Customer: The trays you have in front of you while you watch TV. You know, TV trays. People eat on them.
Old sales associate: I don’t think we sell those, but you might want to check Electronics.
Customer: Uh, sure.
Omaha, Nebraska
