Yick, Then You'd Gain Weight.

Openly gay reception guy to IT girl: Have you lost weight?
IT girl: Hahahaha, no, but I will totally have your babies now that you've said that.

Lincoln, Nebraska

Overheard by: Not that easy

Posted on July 6, 2011
Compliments, Diet & Weight, Gays and lesbians, Nebraska, Offers and requests, Questions, Tech People, Weirdness

Red Lobster Offers an Entrée for Every Taste

Male security guard: You know, it sounded like a thousand golden angels gargling with melted butter.
Female security guard: More like explosive diarrhea.

Lincoln, Nebraska

Posted on June 6, 2011
Compare and contrast, Cops, Nebraska, Religion

Which Explains Why I Choose to Work with a Bunch Of Dicks.

Host #1: Can I have a piece of your gum?
Host #2: Sure.
Host #1: Thanks. Why do you always chew gum?
Host #2: I know this sounds weird, but I always feel like I need to have something in my mouth.

Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: Speechless Server

Posted on February 24, 2011
Employees, Meals and Snacks, Nebraska, Offers and requests, Questions, Sensory Experiences

You've Just Said a Mouthful!

Teen on cell: Well, you know … She just has that certain “jism” that is so attractive.

Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: You Mean Mojo

Posted on January 31, 2011
Compliments, Nebraska, On the phone, Physical Appearance, Sexuality

Omaha's the Place to Go for Autoerotic Snakephyxiation

Clerk #1: You hear about that guy who got choked to death by his pet python?
Clerk #2: Yeah, apparently the snake had choked him in the past, but never killed him before.

Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: Doug's Mom

Posted on November 17, 2010
Animals, Coworkers, Death, Nebraska, Violence, Weirdness

When You Can Remember My Name.

Old coworker to younger one: So when are you going to show me your bedroom?

Nebraska

Overheard by: Talking about decorating

Posted on June 15, 2010
Coworkers, Nebraska, Questions, Sexuality, Weirdness

…What's “I Want a Divorce” Supposed to Mean, Anyway?

Female coworker, after receiving text from hubby: That's 25 cents I'll never get back.

Nebraska

Overheard by: WOW

Posted on March 17, 2010
Coworkers, Gripes, Money, Nebraska

…And the Combined Length Of Their Penises?

Male coworker: It's small but mighty.
Female coworker #1: Hey, it's not the size that matters!
Male coworker: You're right, it's the bandwidth!
(laughter)
Female coworker #2: We are still talking about the analytics department, right?

Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: Mandy