VP #1: I look forward to working with you and [Justin].
VP #2: Yes. Let’s do a threesome! It’ll be really fun!
800 Nicollet Mall
Minneapolis, Minnesota
VP #1: I look forward to working with you and [Justin].
VP #2: Yes. Let’s do a threesome! It’ll be really fun!
800 Nicollet Mall
Minneapolis, Minnesota
IT guy: Does anyone want to help me move some equipment into the U-Haul downstairs?
Co-worker #1: You know I would, but I’m just not wearing the shoes for it today.
Co-worker #2: Why don’t you put on your tennis shoes? I see them under your desk.
Co-worker #1: Shh!
3100 West Lake Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Samantha Quinnsbury
Lawyer: Then why did you have sex with your cousin while she was sleeping?
Client: I honestly thought she wanted it. Really, I would never do anything to hurt her. I think of her like a sister.
Lawyer: Perhaps we shouldn’t put you on the witness stand.
2605 E. Cliff Road
Burnsville, Minnesota
VP: Do we really need all 3 engines to fly the plane?
Planner: I think so, it’s a full plane.
VP: What if the plane is half full? Half the engines?
5001 34th Avenue South
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Coworker: Those people in the Tsunami, they deserved to die. They were being greedy, collecting fish from the sea…they should have known there are three phases of a Tsunami.
60 Livingston Avenue
St. Paul, Minnesota
Model employee: The earlier I wake up, the more crack I smoke on the way to work.
3100 W. Lake Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Samesque
Lady #1: You know, I think we just need to go over there and just bomb the shit out of them.
Lady #2: Without warning?
Lady #1: Fuck that shit. No warning, just bomb it to pieces.
Lady #2: You know, I used to think we should protect the women and children, but they’re just as bad! They do all the dirty work for them.
Lady #1: I agree with you 100%. All the kids have guns there, anyway.
Lady #2: Totally. They all have guns.
80 South 8th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Coworker #1: I was putting gas in the car and the nozzle just sprayed out of the gas tank and all over me. If someone were to light a match, I'd go up in flames. (disappears for a short time to change into a pair of jeans)
Coworker #2, not having heard the previous story: Oh my gosh, are you wearing jeans?
Coworker #1: Yep.
Coworker #2: Why?
(coworker #1 proceeds to retell the gas-spilling story)
Coworker #2: Oh my gosh, do your other pants smell like gas?
Coworker #1, very seriously: Nope, they smell like lemons.
Plymouth, Minnesota
Supervisor's son: Do you pay them to be here?
Supervisor: Sometimes it feels like it.
Golden Valley, Minnesota
Overheard by: Bill
