Girl #1, entering bathroom stall: Sorry, I didn't feel like peeing next to you.
Girl #2, without skipping a beat: Oh, that's okay.
Salisbury, Maryland
Girl #1, entering bathroom stall: Sorry, I didn't feel like peeing next to you.
Girl #2, without skipping a beat: Oh, that's okay.
Salisbury, Maryland
Girl: Which one will fit in my port?
IT guy: The plugs are all the same size.
Girl: Oh, so I just push it in? I don't want to just jam it in there and not have anything happen for me.
NIH Campus
Bethesda, Maryland
Maintenance worker, running into hotel lobby: Look at my union suit! It's a two piece! It was a one piece but I cut it in half because it was ridin' my crotch like a motherfucker!
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Desk clerk
Boss, about job applicant: If he's really serious, I want you to push him hard to see if he's serious.
Bethesda, Maryland
Advisor: You know, her lack of concern for this is really biting me in the ass now. I should have been more aware.
Female grad student: Well, we all should have paid more attention to her work.
Advisor: You know, that's a good point, because trust me: your ass is not protected from biting!
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Black lady: You're not as crude as the rest of us.
Hick man: I can be crude if I want to.
Black lady: Naw, the rest of us…we're crude without no reason!
Hornbake Library
University of Maryland
Boss: Why can't I open this file?
Secretary: Because you did not click on the file.
Boss: I swear this computer lies to me all the time!
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: telling lies to the computer
CEO at all-employee meeting: We want this company to get to the top. Because I don't know about you, but I have fun when I'm on top. (employees roar with laughter)
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Just wanted the stock quote
Grad student: So I think that the manuscript should be organized differently…
(advisor's phone rings, he has a quick conversation in Arabic)
Advisor: Goddammit, sorry. I hate when my damn Arab relatives call, they always want me to set them up with prostitutes for their trips to the United States.
Grad student: Uh…
Advisor: Anyway, where is figure 3 going in your paper now?
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Sloth on phone: I agree we need to go grocery shopping before we go camping. (pause) No, don't bother to buy that much corn on the cob because my boyfriend won't eat it. (pause) Why? The truth is he doesn't like to see it in his poo when he looks back and flushes.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: My Ipod just isn't loud enough
