Co-worker: Oh, you know how he is… Yeah, that’s a great word to describe him: wanker.
Madison, Connecticut
Co-worker: Oh, you know how he is… Yeah, that’s a great word to describe him: wanker.
Madison, Connecticut
Employee #1: I don’t understand what his problem is…
Employee #2: His problem? He’s low-level and he’s stupid.
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: CB
Coworker: You are very bright today.
QC guy in yellow shirt: Oh, why thank you.
Coworker, walking away: And I don’t mean that in the mental sense.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
(coworker #1 launches stress ball at coworker #2)
Coworker #2: Good thing you throw like a girl.
Coworker #1: Ya know, you're like the opposite of United Way: you bring out the worst in me.
Coworker #1: I'm pretty sure that's not their motto.
Coworker #2: I'm pretty sure you're still fucking annoying. (waits a moment) Yep.
East Midtown
New York City, New York
Overheard by: The Temp
CSR on quality control recording of recent call: Hello, this is Brian*, how can I help you?
Caller: Kathy.
CSR: Sorry, what?
Caller: I want Kathy. Now.
CSR: Okay. Well, she's probably not available right now. Can I help you?
Caller: Fuck you. I don't want to talk to you. I only want to talk to Kathy. You talk like an asshole.
CSR: Sir, assholes talk like this: “tttthhhhhhbbbbbttttttttttt”. I've done no such thing. I'll have to ask you to call back when you're feeling more appropriate.
Quality control monitor: Good. Next call.
Financial District
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Alan
Woman #1, hanging up after talking to boyfriend: What a dummy. He said that the internet isn't working at home because he deleted the modem or something, I wasn't really listening. God, boys are so stupid.
Woman #2: Seriously.
Loveland, Colorado
Man: So, I told my girlfriend that if I fuck a midget it is not considered cheating.
Coworker: What? Yes, it is!
Man: No, it isn’t. They aren’t real people.
Presque Isle, Maine
Overheard by: wtf kind of place is this?
Division manager, addressing 200-member division: As part of the new policy, employees will not be allowed to carry over vacation days to next year.
District manager: Could I use days I have left in the first week of January?
Voice from speakerphone: That's next year, asshole!
(stunned silence)
Morristown, New Jersey
Overheard by: Jack Satan
Boss on phone: That is not clinical! Being an asshole is not a clinical condition.
Ginko Industrial Park
Warminster, Pennsylvania
Co-worker #1: Who was that boy? He was cute!
Co-worker #2: It won’t work. He’s a preacher and you’re a whore.
Main Street
Gainsville, Florida
