The Dance All the Kids Are Doing

Employee: Let me ask Roxanne to void it. She always cusses me when I void and toggle.

Nashville, Tennessee

Posted on October 31, 2014
Employees, Insults, Sexuality, Tennessee

Clearly Miami

Dude to employee who just returned from Florida vacation: So were there more Mexicans in Miami or in Florida?
Employee who just returned from Florida vacation: That is the dumbest thing I have ever been asked.

Richmond West
Toronto, Canadia

Posted on October 27, 2014
Canadia, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Insults, Questions

That Was His Original Catchphrase, Before “I Have the Power!”

Female coworker to male coworker rolling sleeves near window: What are you, He-Man?
Male coworker: I'm fucking tanning, you asshole!

Plainville, Connecticut

Posted on October 25, 2014
Comebacks, Connecticut, Coworkers, Insults, Questions, TV

Says He's a “Customer” Who Needs “Service”– Yeah, Right

Female office drone, about to answer ringing phone: Please don't be an idiot, please don't be an idiot…
(a minute later, as she puts the call on hold)
Damn! Another one!

Chelmsford, Massachusetts

Overheard by: She's Not Wrong…

Posted on October 24, 2014
Employees, General Idiocy, Insults, Massachusetts, On the phone

Okay, So Only That One Time

Janitor to coworkers: Man, these customers be crazy. The other night I was moppin’ the floor, and this bitch come up to me and said, ‘It’s not time to mop the floor yet!’ Lady, do I come to your job and smack the dick outta your mouth?

Natural Food Store breakroom
Brooklyn, New York

Overheard by: disgruntled employee

Posted on October 22, 2014
Coworkers, Insults, New York, Possible Sexual Harassment

I Liked It Better When We Were Doing the Whole Cat’s in the Cradle Thing

Middle-aged dad: Frankie Laine died.
20-ish son: Who the fuck is Frankie Laine?
Middle-aged dad: He was a great singer. He sang the theme from Blazing Saddles.
20-ish son: That was 40 fucking years ago. What did he die of, irrelevancy?
Middle-aged dad: You’re too young to appreciate anything.
20-ish son: I fucking hate it when you say that.

Blockbuster
Oceanside, California

Posted on October 22, 2014
California, Insults, Kids

Agnes Realizes She May Have Shared Too Much at Lunch

Peon #1: Stop yelling! You’re just like my dad!
Peon #2: Yeah, except I’m not drunk and I’m not beating you.

Braintree, Massachusetts

Overheard by: not there anymore

Posted on October 22, 2014
Coworkers, Insults, Massachusetts

There It Is

Sales guy #1: … or you know it could send to your POP3.
Sales guy #2: Don’t pretend like you know what you’re talking about.
Sales guy #1: At least I had a term. Where’s your term, motherfucker?!

Bonner Springs, Kansas