Secretary: There was a black man who lived in my county. He was the only one. We called him Nigger Jim.
Co-worker: What?
Secretary: Oh, it was okay. He called himself that. He was retarded.
Co-worker: Where is he now?
Secretary: Prison.
130 East Main Street
Canton, Georgia
Boss to coworker: “Booger” is a good word. So is “butthole.” That one makes me laugh.
Ojai, California
Boss: …Right where a woman belongs!
Co-worker: Where’s that, [Kevin]?
Boss: In the kitchen!
Co-worker: Oh, you did not just say that!
Boss: No, you’re right…I didn’t.
1345 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY
Assistant: I just talked to the stupidest woman ever. It was an honor. At first it was frustrating before I was overcome by the joy.
141 River’s Edge Drive
Traverse City, Michigan
Overheard by: Heather
Employee to coworker wearing under-armor shirt: Lou*, Bally’s called. They want their shirt back until you can bench press at least 45 pounds.
Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey
Overheard by: Maureen
Co-worker on phone: Well, when I asked you over for lunch I asked if there was something you didn’t eat besides cheese…Well I’m just saying you should have told me you didn’t eat pork when I asked…Yes, I know you’re Jewish…Well whatever you are, you’re an idiot and a liar. You should have told me about the pork…Ew, she’s your first cousin.
622 3rd Avenue
New York, NY
Cube dweller: Is Massachusetts the only state in this country that doesn't suck?
6th Ave
New York City, New York
Advising office applicant to interviewer: Yeah, advisors are worthless.
6001 Dodge Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Brandy
Mother to small child: I already spent all of my money on your face.
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Overheard by: beckz
Bubbly girl: You know what’s a funny word? ‘Fucker…’ And ‘bitches.’
Oak Lawn
Cook County, Illinois
Overheard by: erin
