District Supervisor: Wait, maybe I misunderstood him, but was he saying “Bachelor’s Degree”?
Regional Manager: Actually, the words he used were “Bastard’s Degree.”
District Supervisor: Ha, ha! I thought so but I didn’t think he could be that ignorant.
Regional Manager: Well, he is a retarded ex-con with personality disorders.
District Supervisor: Yeah, you’re right.
3651 Cedarcrest Avenue
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Joshua Carpenter
Co-worker #1: I don’t want to drive you home; it’s way out of my way. Just take the company van home.
Co-worker #2: If I had a dick I would tell you to suck it.
General Manager: Hey, not in the office.
Co-worker #2: You too.
839 Marshall Phelps Road
Windsor, Connecticut
Clerk: It actually hurts talking to you.
Receptionist: Hey, it hurts talking to you, sometimes. You use big words too much.
Clerk: Go away, I’ve hit my stupid quotient for the day.
Manager: You are so mean to her.
10 Miles South of Battle Mountain
Battle Mountain, Nevada
Co-worker: The network people are always sending around network interruption notices telling us that the system will be down Sunday from 10-2. Like I’m working then! Besides, this is like therapy for people with BlackBerries. Free yourselves, crackberry slaves!
50 Driveway
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Developer #1: It’s obvious the code will work. You’ve coded, you can see it will work. You can see it will work, unless you’re stupid.
Developer #2: You’re not stupid, are you?
501 Marquette Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: fmm
VP: God! They’ve got you working reception? We must be really scraping the bottom of the barrel.
5203 Leesburg Pike
Falls Church, Virginia
Boss: I don't know if it's because she was black, and I'm not used to hiring black people, but I just didn't get a good feeling from her.
Sales guy: Yeah, plus, her eyes were kind of red.
Boss: A black alcoholic. That's just what we need.
Los Angeles, California
Boss: Oh you fucking idiot!
Pause
Boss: Why don’t you just go home, you wanker!
Boss walks out of the office.
Employee: Who are you yelling at?
Boss: Me, I’m going home!
301 Pirie Street
Adelaide, Australia
Overheard by: Jessica
Supervisor: I hate Jane Murray* with such glee, my hate for her actually brings me joy.
Manahawkin, New Jersey
