Illinois

Maintenance #1: Don’t break ’em off.
Maintenance #2: Don’t break what off?
Maintenance #1: These nuts.

224 South Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois

[Technicians installing a new system]Technician #1: Ok, well it looks like we need to go up to the ceiling.
Technician #2: I’m going to go up the ladder.
Technician #3: You’re going to go up the ladder?
Technician #1: You’re going to go up the ladder?
Technician #2: I’m going to go up the ladder.
[Technician #2 goes up the ladder and takes some stuff apart]Technician #2: Ok, so I think this one is the heating hose.
Technician #1: That one’s the heating hose?
Technician #2: Yeah, this one’s the heating hose.
Technician #3: Ok, I?m going to activate it. Whoosh.
Technician #2: Turn it off! Turn it off! Turn it off!
[Technician #3 turns it off]Technician #2: Ok, that’s the heating hose.

Enterprise Drive
Oak Brook, Illinois

Conductor: Tickets, please… Or in lieu of tickets, breakfast sandwiches will be accepted.

Chicago-bound commuter train

Overheard by: Pirate Alice

VP Fundraising: Mmm the aqueous coating on this brochure smells delicious.
Publication Manager: That’s the residue from my Krispy Kreme.

2300 4th Ave.
Rock Island, Illinois

Overheard by: Holly Sparkman

Boss on the phone: What religion is he?…That makes sense that he drives a Jeep then.

Northbrook, Illinois

Overheard by: AHHH!!

Social worker: Crap! I spelled “I am” wrong!

Chicago, Illinois

Boss: Let’s take care of that tomorrow.
Employee: Let’s as in “you and me”, or “you, me and [Kate]”, or “me and [Kate]”?
Boss: Let’s as in “you and Kate].” I shouldn’t be involved unless there’s a problem.

303 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois

Nerd #1: All Brittney* talks about is food and sex.
Nerd #2: Yeah, what do you think she likes doing more: talking about eating while having sex, or talking about fucking while having lunch?

333 Pfingsten Road
Northbrook, Illinois

Overheard by: deltar

Straight developer to gay developer: Don’t go straight! Your mom may have raised a homo, but she didn’t raise a quitter!

State & Water
Peoria, Ilinois

Overheard by: only girl in an office of men…

Office chick on phone: I know! He was all, ‘I really like your hoses…’ I did — I told him I liked his hoses as well — I’m not rude.

Itasca, Illinois

Overheard by: Terry