Sales manager: Do me a favor and go help that customer.
Employee: Can't I just touch you inappropriately and get sent home because I make you feel really uncomfortable?
Sales manager: Maybe if I thought there was some feeling behind it.
Chicago, Illinois
Secretary on phone: Hi, I have tried twice now to establish myself as the main contact person for our firm with your company via your online customer service, and it still won’t change the name…Yes, and I’m considering legally changing my name to [Nathan Blumenthal] because apparently that would be easier than getting it changed with your printing service.
19 South LaSalle Street
Chicago, Illinois
CSR: Hello Mrs. Batman? This is Robin calling from your hearing aid company about your recent hearing aid purchase. (pause) No, I'm not kidding. My name really is Robin and I'm calling about your hearing aid.
DeKalb, Illinois
Overheard by: Rich
Photo coordinator looking for staples: Why are there paper clips in this box?
Photo editor: What?
Photo coordinator: See — it says ‘staples,’ but there are paper clips in here.
Photo editor: Dude, it’s from Staples. You need the box that says ‘staples’ twice.
Prudential Plaza
Chicago, Illinois
Writer to editorial assistant: Ham is more powerful than bacon, unless you eat a lot of bacon.
Hinsdale, Illinois
Female coworker: Can I ask you a question?
AP clerk: I'm not allowed to answer questions anymore.
Female coworker: Never? Regardless of what the question is?
AP clerk: That's what they told me.
Deerfield, Illinois
Server admin: Yay! Malaria!
State & Water
Peoria, Illinois
Overheard by: only girl in an office of men…
HR person: Here’s your office. There are some shelves on order and they should be in next week, so you’ll have to do with the desk and credenza.
New employee: But I thought I was getting a cubicle.
1701 1st Avenue
Rock Island, Illinois
Overheard by: Holly Sparkman
Office worker: To me, Clorox cleans everything. They figure out a way to put Clorox inside a body, and you'll have a cure for Aids.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: anyabelisle
Coworker #1: What are you doing this weekend?
Coworker #2: Maybe a movie.
Coworker #3: Man, it’s a lot harder to have sex downtown than I thought it would be.
Coworkers #1 and #2: [stunned silence].
Vernon Hills, Illinois
Overheard by: This Guy
