Girl #1: Why does God send all the crazy callers to me?
Girl #2: Because he sees you touch yourself at night.
Bloomington, Illinois
Cube dweller #1, at weekly company breakfast: Oooh, breakfast. I forgot today was breakfast day.
Cube dweller #2: They sure do know how to buy us off. They could take away our chairs and there would only be a minor grumbling, but if they took away our breakfast… Like, ‘Yeah, we’re gonna be a standing agency now.’ ‘Yeah, that’s cool. Just don’t mess with my breakfast.’
233 North Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Cube Monkey
Broker #1: Ok, here’s one: would you rather lick the bulge on Johnny’s* leg or eat the skin that Peter* peeled off his foot last year?
Broker #2: As sick as this sounds, I’d take Johnny’s bulge in a second. I had to sit next to Peter. His foot had a crack in it so deep you could stick a pencil in it.
440 South LaSalle
Chicago, Illinois
Coworker discussing photos from a client: We really need some more photos of people being serviced.
Ad Agency
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Tom
One VP to another: Well, it was a dumb thing to do. But it wasn’t the first dumb thing we’ve done.
1501 Woodfield Road
Schaumburg, Illinois
Overheard by: Pirate Wench
Marketing freak #1: It's like porn.
Marketing freak #2: Haha… Yeah. It is, I like it.
CEO's assistant: Porn?
Marketing freak #3: Yeah, Sports Illustrated. Have you seen it?
Itasca, Illinois
Overheard by: Walking through an Origy
Marketing manager: I think we’ll just give him our rationale, and if he objects, that’s crazy! Who would object to logic?
1 Prudential Plaza
Chicago, Illinois
Employee: I worked 12 hours over this month, so I have some comp time on the books. I need to use 30 minutes of that tomorrow so I can leave a little early to go to the doctor.
Boss: Well, I don’t think that’s going to work. There are only 5 other people here that afternoon, and I am taking a two hour lunch tomorrow.
1600 Charleston Avenue
Mattoon, Illinois
Office drone #1: Have you ever been to Chinatown for dim sum?
Office drone #2: Is that a drug?
Chicago, Illinois
