Job interviewer: So, when exactly are you moving here?
Job interviewee: As soon as we find a place to live. We’re looking for an apartment or a condom.
602 West University Avenue
Urbana, Illinois
Job interviewer: So, when exactly are you moving here?
Job interviewee: As soon as we find a place to live. We’re looking for an apartment or a condom.
602 West University Avenue
Urbana, Illinois
Co-worker: If I killed someone, he would totally lie to the police for me. Either he would be my alibi or he would lie and say he did it so I could be free.
225 North Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Am I Next
PR guy to marketing guy: You know, I'm just going to massage it a little. I just want to get it into your hands as soon as possible, you know?
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: the girl who cannot hear
Office girl #1: I wonder where’s Karen’s* been.
Office girl #2: The bitch convention.
Office girl #1: She’s probably the keynote speaker.
Jackson Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: another karen* hater
IT to coworker: No, I am not taking my muffin into the bathroom!
Carbondale, Illinois
Developer: Oh, man… I got caught in the wave of girl-fart… It smelled like a mixture of diarrhea poopie and menstrual cycle!
State and Water Streets
Peoria, Illinois
Overheard by: only girl in an office of men…
Loud female lawyer: I’ll show you yours if you show me mine! Wait, the other way around…
Evanston, Illinois
Overheard by: cubicle across the hall
Cosmetics dept. drone: This spider snuck up on me, so all of a sudden I stopped servicing my customer.
Rockford, Illinois
Cubicle dweller #1: John* needs to talk to you.
Cubicle dweller #2: Just give him my IM.
Cubicle dweller #1: He just wants you to reply to his e-mail, did you read his e-mail?
Cubicle dweller #2: No, I just got here.
Cubicle dweller #1: Why didn't you read it?
Cubicle dweller #2: I just got here! I just got here! I just got here, man.
Cubicle dweller #1, mumbling: I just got here, why do you got to look at me like I'm a fucking idiot.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: the girl who cannot hear
Reporter: People don't always speak in direct quotes.
Chicago, Illinois
