Cosmetics dept. drone: This spider snuck up on me, so all of a sudden I stopped servicing my customer.
Rockford, Illinois
Cosmetics dept. drone: This spider snuck up on me, so all of a sudden I stopped servicing my customer.
Rockford, Illinois
Cubicle dweller #1: John* needs to talk to you.
Cubicle dweller #2: Just give him my IM.
Cubicle dweller #1: He just wants you to reply to his e-mail, did you read his e-mail?
Cubicle dweller #2: No, I just got here.
Cubicle dweller #1: Why didn't you read it?
Cubicle dweller #2: I just got here! I just got here! I just got here, man.
Cubicle dweller #1, mumbling: I just got here, why do you got to look at me like I'm a fucking idiot.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: the girl who cannot hear
Reporter: People don't always speak in direct quotes.
Chicago, Illinois
Lady worker leaving meeting: You guys just aren’t as skilled as I am in the Porn Names Department.
McDonald’s Drive
Oakbrook, Illinois
Overheard by: Brett C
Office lackey #1: I need some experience before I apply to pharmacy school.
Office lackey #2: Have you considered a crack den?
Office lackey #1, thoughtfully: I wonder what UIC would think of that. “I interned at a meth lab last summer…”
DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: University Lackey
Sensitive soul: She’s gotten heavier, so now I can beat her.
Central Street
Evanston, Illinois
Male coworker #1 on conference call: You don't want to blow your credibility right out of the gate.
Male coworker #2: Let me tell you, I blow credibility every day.
Chicago, Illinois
Rep on phone: You ever hear of a mojito? Well, I just created a new drink: the bro-jito.
10 S. Riverside Plaza
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Syd O’Banion
Cube dweller #1: How was your weekend?
Cube dweller #2: It was good! I went to the movies… Oh, and my mom said I could stop taking the medication she gave me.
Chicago, Illinois
Employee to boss: Your compliments feel better than most people's compliments…
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: chickago
