CEO: My only regret was that I couldn’t fire her [VP Marketing] twice.
50 Fremont Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Vin Dicated
CEO: My only regret was that I couldn’t fire her [VP Marketing] twice.
50 Fremont Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Vin Dicated
Consultant: So what is this meeting about, anyway?
Boss: Why is everyone so concerned about this meeting?
Consultant: Well, for starters it’s 3 hours long–
Boss: Don’t worry, we can’t fire all of you…
595 Madison Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Trouble
In respose to several of our wholesale customers reporting strong on-line sales in December; Boss: We do all the work and they make all the money? We have a website too and it’s time we started reminding these people of that! We need to be making a hell of a lot more money areound here than we are now. Time to start firing a few of these so-called “Top Customers”. That’ll fucking show ’em who’s boss!
800 Boylston Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
Attorney: Jesus, why do they keep hiring from the Gnome and Troll Temp Agency?
550 Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Lady VP: I left on good terms. Not necessarily with the people I worked with, but definitely the people I worked for.
4 Times Square
New York, NY
Supervisor: Be sure to meet in the large conference room for the intern’s goodbye lunch at noon.
Employee: Is [Andrew] leaving?
Supervisor: No, it’s for [Brenda], [Andrew]’s been hired full time, so no lunch.
Employee: Well, what about the new employee welcome lunch?
Supervisor: Okay, fine…it’s today at noon.
201 Connecticut Avenue NW
Washington, DC
Co-worker #1: We’re having an office roast for Bob on Friday, since it’s his last day.
Co-worker #2: What do I need to bring?
Co-worker #1: You know, jokes, stories about him, like that.
Co-worker #2: That’s it? Who’s going to cook the roast?
2155 S. Bascom Avenue
Campbell, California
Boss: You know, I’m really glad we hired you. You’re a good sounding board for all this stuff I take in front of clients, because you don’t know anything. So you probably know as much as they do. So whatever confuses you will probably confuse them.
Associate: Uh…
Boss: Exactly.
430 W. 14th Street
New York, NY
Boss to employee: This is a “sorry you're leaving” card. But someone's written in it “happy birthday,” and someone else has written “congratulations on the engagement, and on the baby.”
Cambridge
England
Coworker #1: Dude, is Mike* the HR manager over there? The same Mike* who used to work for us?
Coworker #2: Yeah, why?
Coworker #1: He was fired for snorting coke in the bathroom during the Christmas party!
Portland, Oregon
