Minion #1: Oh, yeah, I try not to go shopping during the holidays.
Minion #2: You can’t avoid it — the music, the squealing children, everything — it’s like a peppermint orgy.
Assistant, startled: Uh, what?
12th and Peachtree
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Say what?
Male cop: Just so you know, no matter what she said, I was not trying to play with her boobs. I was just trying to throw something down in there… You can ask Susan* — she was there.
Augusta, Georgia
Overheard by: uh… didn’t need to know that
Grunt #1: We need to buy a couple of monkeys and have monkey knife fights.
Grunt #2: Is there anything against the law about that?
2540 Satellite Boulevard
Duluth, Georgia
Coworker #1: So you ate the cookies?
Coworker #2: Yeah, they had only been in the toilet for a second! Five second rule!
Coworker #1: That’s still disgusting.
Coworker #2: Well, hey, at least I didn’t lick my dirty foot.
Coworker #1: That was once! You’ve eaten cookies out of the toilet loads of times!
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Melissa
Senior partner: I was telling my secretary the other day, “You know what turns me on? You know what gets me hot? A woman with a job.”
Senior associate: Well, I have one of those.
Senior partner: It really turns me on.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: praying that it's only a dream
Employee #1: Your haircut is just so cute, I meant to tell you! It looks just like–what was Spock on Star Trek? A Vulcan? It makes you look just like a Vulcan!
Employee #2: Um, thank you…
Employee #1: I hope you don't take that the wrong way!
Atlanta, Georgia
Little boy after a loud crash: You broke it! I’m very upset with you — very upset! Mommy broke the lamp! She’s a bad girl!
9037 Highway 92
Woodstock, Georgia
Overheard by: peddler of rigid tools
Manager: Why are your eyes so red?
Waiter: I’m just really tired. Also, when I don’t get a lot of sleep, sometimes I smell like pot.
Haynes Bridge Road
Alpharetta, Georgia
Coworker: Oooh, look at that microwave. It’s all ’50s and industrial and stuff.
Boss: Yeah, look how big it is. You could cook a whole baby in there!
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Glad I’m not her baby
President: Hello! What are you doing today?
Director, eating canister of Planter's Peanuts: I'm eating my nuts!
Atlanta, Georgia
