Office genius: I don't always know what I'm talking about. I often don't know what I'm talking about. But it pisses me off when I do know what I'm talking about and people don't believe me.
Plainsboro, New Jersey
Office genius: I don't always know what I'm talking about. I often don't know what I'm talking about. But it pisses me off when I do know what I'm talking about and people don't believe me.
Plainsboro, New Jersey
Cube dweller: Just like men can get breast cancer, women can get prostate cancer. My gynecologist screens all his patients for it.
North Carolina
Overheard by: Not too worried about it
Boss: Hey, maybe we should launch this as an app.
Developer #1 to #2: What is he talking about?
Developer #2: I dunno, that guy's a fool!
Boss to developer #2: I will step on your throat!
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: David
Male peon muttering to self: Hey, brain — work! Please work? At least for the next two hours!
Female peon: Are you talking to your brain?
Male peon: Yeah, I’m trying to get it to work.
Female peon: Oh.
8133 Leesburg Pike
Vienna, Virginia
Potential new hire: Hi, I'm Julie.
Existing employee Nice to meet you. Congratulations.
Potential new hire: Thanks. I hope it works out.
Existing employee: Okay then. Get well soon.
Charlestown, Massachusetts
Office gal: No, that goes in vertically.
Office guy: Vertically? Where? Here?
Office gal: No, in the little hole.
Office guy: What? No way!
Office gal: Yeah, you gotta fanagle it a little bit to get the gap to open up, so you can stick it in there.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: That's what she said?…
Boss on speaker phone: So I need you to give me those files, like, in five minutes.
Employee: Um.
Boss: I’m serious. I want them in my hand in five minutes.
Employee: You know that I work at home, right?
Boss: So?
Employee: So I live forty-five minutes away from your so-called “office”…Speaking of which, did you ever get that toilet out of the hallway?
3207 Hayloft Court
Frederick, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
Graphic designer to PR guy : But I know what you mean, all black people do look the same.
Rochester, New York
Befuddled coworker to supervisor: The good news is I developed a system so that I wouldn't lose any more SIM cards. The bad news is I lost one.
Independence Parkway
Fort Worth, Texas
Overheard by: Jet Jaguar
Executive: You know it’s been a productive day when you smell as bad as I do right now.
6423 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
