Social worker to others, standing outside smoking: If we were all 5'9″ we wouldn't be overweight.
Tampa, Florida
Social worker to others, standing outside smoking: If we were all 5'9″ we wouldn't be overweight.
Tampa, Florida
Boss to another: I have a policy manual on when to take a dump each day.
Chicago, Illinois
Male cook: Fine, we'll spell it your way!
Female front desk agent: No, seriously! “Banana” is spelled b-a-n-a-n-a.
(later that day)
Female front desk agent to male front desk agent: Hey, how do you spell “banana”?
Male front desk agent: B-a-b…
Female front desk agent, cutting him off: Forget it.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: David
Trainee accountant #1, looking at payslip: Look, I pay more tax each month!
Trainee accountant #2: Where does it say that?
Trainee accountant #1: Here, look.
Trainee accountant #2: That is the cumulative total.
Trainee accountant #1: What does “cumulative” mean?
London
England
Tech looking for stylus: Have you seen my pokey thing?
Boss: Not even in prison did I see the pokey thing.
Midwest
Coworker, arguing against gun regulations: They say that easy access to guns leads to mass killings. Well, there's easy access to prostitutes but I don't have syphilis. I restrain myself.
Nashville, Tennessee
Boss on phone with tech support: Wait… What is a colon? (pause) The dot and the squiggle line or the dot and the dot? (pause) Hello? Are you listening to me? (pause) No, I'm not stupid, I'm German.
Ocala, Florida
Overheard by: Mystique
Loud secretary on phone: Ohhh, you said “Laurie.” I thought you said “Willie Nelson.”
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: jim from the office
Middle-aged white guy to another: People will find reasons to be discriminated against.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/308418036/i-have-one-for-you.html
Overheard by: let me know what you come up with.
Office worker #1: Guess what I have?
Office worker #2: Herpes?
Office worker #1: No, actually I have a Snapple lid with random fact #1, can you believe it? The first snapple fact! “Goldfish only have an attention span of 3 minutes.”
(silence)
Office worker #3, a row away: If you had herpes, that would have been more interesing.
Office worker #1: Go to hell.
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/08/goldfish.html
Overheard by: e c.
