Wine tech #1: So I heard you are going to France next week.
Wine tech #2: Yup. Next thursday.
Wine tech #1: So how long will it take you to drive there?
8555 Sonoma Highway
Santa Rosa, California
Wine tech #1: So I heard you are going to France next week.
Wine tech #2: Yup. Next thursday.
Wine tech #1: So how long will it take you to drive there?
8555 Sonoma Highway
Santa Rosa, California
Painter in room with painters’ tape everywhere: Do you like the new colors?
Customer: I don’t like the blue stripes.
Concord, New Hampshire
Overheard by: another painter
Coworker #1: That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!
Coworker #2: I know it sounds stupid…
Coworker #1: No, it doesn’t just sound stupid, it is stupid.
10877 Watson Road
St. Louis, Missouri
Housing: You need to sign this form that talks about the potential risks of lead paint.
Student: Lead paint? Could that be dangerous?
Housing: No.
Student: Really?
Housing: Well, I wouldn’t lick the walls.
400 West 119th Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: djlindee
Vet tech #1: Aren’t there a lot of castles in Pennsylvania? I was watching a show on TV about all the castles there.
Vet tech #2: I think you’re thinking of Transylvania.
North Lamar Boulevard
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: pooper scooper
Peon #1: I gotta call ’em. They’re in Georgia. Is it too early?
Peon #2: What do you mean?
Peon #1: Aren’t they behind us? What time is it there? … Where’s Georgia?
Clements Bridge Road
Barrington, New Jersey
Overheard by: worker on Eastern time
Co-worker #1: Did you see that email [Henry] sent?
Co-worker #2 & #3: Yes.
Co-worker #1: What does he mean by “COB”?
Co-worker #2 & #3: Conclusion of business.
Co-worker #1: Oh, I was hoping it meant “commencement of breakfast.”
10900 Stonelake Boulevard
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: T the Munificent
Co-worker #1: How’s the new baby?
Co-worker #2: She’s doing great thanks!
Co-worker #1: Does she have hair?
Co-worker #2: She’s got tonnes of hair!
Co-worker #1: How about eyes?
Co-worker #2: …Yes, she has eyes…
557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Little girl #1, finding baby doll: What a cute baby.
Little girl #2: Let's hang it!
Hastings, Michigan
Sales guy: My daughter had a book when she was little called Which Witch is Which.
Sales chick: … Huh?
Sales guy: She had a book called Which Witch is Which.
Sales chick: I thought that was one of your porn movies…
Sales guy: Well, it might be that, too. Porn and children’s books… I get them confused.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
