Woman on phone: I got a letter from the insurance agency. What should I do?
Lawyer: What does the letter say?
Woman: Aren't you a lawyer?
Lawyer: Yes, but I need to see what the letter says.
Woman: You're e a lawyer. You should know these things.
Lawyer: Without reading it, I don't know.
Boston, Massachusetts
Girl #1: Actually, I think her parents were brother and sister by adoption.
Girl #2: Does that mean she's an albino?
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Kate
Staying coworker: Now that you're leaving, we're going to have to work twice as hard.
Leaving worker: I know, you have to take advantage of the opportunity. Just like I'm going to start being a dick to everyone.
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Overheard by: DIV
Designer: If you want to save money on groceries, go to the ghetto and go to their Safeway. Their prices are cheaper. Or go to their discount grocery store. It’s even cheaper, but most of the signs are in Spanish or some other language I don’t speak. And you can find some of the weirdest food!
2001 Lind Avenue SW
Renton, Washington
Woman #1: What day is Thanksgiving on this year?
Woman #2: I don’t know – Thursday or Friday?
Wal-mart
Springfield, Missouri
Overheard by: Jennifer Gerboth
Blonde cashier: Wow! Thanksgiving is on a Thursday this year!
Lake Travis, Texas
Overheard by: Frostwalrus
Blonde: What’s your last name?
Brunette: Monroe.
Blonde: Oh! Are you related to Marilyn Monroe?
Brunette: No, but I am related to the president.
Blonde: George Bush?? No way!
60 Wall Street
New York, New York
Coworker #1, carrying on secret relationship with #2: What are you trying to say?
Coworker #2: I’m not saying anything. You know what I’m saying.
Coworker #1: What are you trying to say?
Coworker #2: I’m not saying anything. You know what I’m saying.
Hospital
New York
Office peon: Not that I believe Jesus was Jewish or anything.
Silver Spring, Maryland
Social worker: Crap! I spelled “I am” wrong!
Chicago, Illinois
Scientist: What are the goals of this management plan?
Project manager: The goal is to come up with a plan to manage the system, but we are not authorized to actually manage anything.
Scientist: So the goal of this meeting is really an excuse for you to draw on the white board and act important?
3301 Gun Club Road
West Palm Beach, Florida
