Office wench: I ordered those things you wanted!
Boss: Did you?
Office wench: I think…
Boss: Thanks.
513 Progress Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: cubical dweller
Office wench: I ordered those things you wanted!
Boss: Did you?
Office wench: I think…
Boss: Thanks.
513 Progress Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: cubical dweller
Title clerk #1: Are those Doritos spicy?
Title clerk #2: Oh, they're only spicy when you eat them.
New Philadelphia, Ohio
Overheard by: ORLY?
Man at urinal #1: I hate it when we have visitors and have to wear ties.
Man at urinal #2: Oh shit! I think I just pissed on mine.
Chicago, Illinois
Little girl, pointing to Coneheads DVD: Daddy, what’s wrong with those people?
Dad: Oh, they’re just from France.
Blockbuster, University Village
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: David in Seattle
Coworker: Hey, Jill*, do we have any in stock?
Jill: Yes.
Coworker: Do you even know what I’m looking for?
Jill: No.
Electronics store
California
Overheard by: SK
Dude: I registered to win a trip to space, and I haven’t heard anything. I’m very disappointed.
270 Lafayette Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Jas Bohrman
Worker #1: The “Lunch And Learn” is today, right?
Worker #2: Yep.
Worker #1: Can we take our lunch in?
699 Walnut Street
Des Moines, Iowa
Male desk drone, stretching: I’d love one of those medieval torture tables, y’know?
Female coworker: Uh, the rack?
Male desk drone: Yeah! I love stretching.
Hertfordshire
UK
Overheard by: Lorzgrins
Middle-aged customer: Give me two packs of them Basic cigarettes.
Sales clerk rings up cigarettes and register beeps: It wants me to check your ID.
Middle-aged customer: I don’t have no ID.
Sales clerk: How old are you?
Middle-aged customer: Uh. Um. 40… 50… 50-something.
Sales clerk: Okay, $9.75.
Walgreens, 5650 West Belmont Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Peon: I am stealing this.
CEO: Why?
Peon: Because I have to send it somewhere and you stole it when you went on one of your frenzies and now that you are calm I am sending it away.
CEO: But why did I go off?
Peon: Like I ever know why you go off. It is just something you do. I just wait until it passes and do what should have been done before. It is just the way it works.
407 East Gude Drive
Rockville, Maryland
