Perverted girl looking at a picture of two ducks mating: I swear, if you saw them going at it, you would have been jealous. He was really giving it to her!
Commercial Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: Animal lover has a whole new meaning
Female designer: I’ve been yoinked a lot today.
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Meg
Manager, in a panic: We sent a box of sex toys to the wrong customer!
Employee #1: Where did it go?
Manager: Jamaica.
Employee #1: Wasn’t it supposed to go to Barbados?
Manager: Yeah…
Employee #2: Not my fault! You can’t blame me!
Miami, Florida
Cubicle guy, coming around the corner: Stacy… you’re in trouble. Oh… Stacy isn’t here today? No? Well, in that case, I’ll just leave a sticky on her desk for her return.
Guy in next cubicle: Dude, that’s disgusting.
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: Marko
Co-worker: Some people buy rubbers for other reasons: I buy them to eat them.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Cheryl
Client: How bad? Are we talking about just paying the three million, or are we talking penalties bad?
Accountant: We’re talking jail bad.
Broward Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Specialist peon to manager peon: It’s 3:30 already? My thingy hasn’t been popping up all day!
South Park Circle
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: I didn’t know girls had thingies
Woman: I really enjoyed your singing this morning.
Girl who sang: Thanks so much!
Woman: Yeah, it’s always so great when someone just sings straight from the ovaries like that.
Girl who sang: Uhh… [Nervous laugh.]
Hotel
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Annah
Insurance salesman: Maternity is covered as a sickness under this policy.
39th Avenue
Hollywood, Florida
Boss: So, where did Mike* go?
Underling: He had to go home. Some pet emergency. He said there’s an unidentified liquid coming out of his cat’s ass.
Boss: Well, that’s an excuse I’ve never heard before…
Cypress Street
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: I didn’t need to know that
