I'll Send You the Pre-Law Application, Ma'am

University call center rep: Okay ma'am, what program were you interested in?
Prospective student: Well, I'm not exactly sure. I was thinking of something in prostitution. (pause) Oh, that's not right.

University Drive
Davie, Florida

Posted on August 11, 2008
Default, Education, Employees, Florida, Questions, Sexuality, Students, Weirdness

Employees–Ticking Time Bombs, All of Them

(employee #1 coughs)
Employee #2: Beth*, are you okay?
(employee #1 coughs)
Employee #3: Ma, are you okay?
Employee #1: I’m fine.
Employee #3: Ma, what are you choking on?
Employee #1: My own spit.

Clearwater, Florida

Overheard by: file queen

Posted on July 22, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Employees, Florida, Health & Hygiene, Questions, Weirdness

She’ll Bill Him Later

Perverted girl looking at a picture of two ducks mating: I swear, if you saw them going at it, you would have been jealous. He was really giving it to her!

Commercial Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Overheard by: Animal lover has a whole new meaning

Posted on July 9, 2008
Animals, Default, Florida, Retail, Sexuality, Weirdness

My Cubicle’s Like Yoinkee Stadium

Female designer: I’ve been yoinked a lot today.

Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Meg

Posted on July 8, 2008
Default, Design and Editorial, Designers and Photographers, Florida, Office Politics, Words

No Complaint Was Ever Lodged by the Jamaican Nuns Who Received the Wrong Shipment, Though

Manager, in a panic: We sent a box of sex toys to the wrong customer!
Employee #1: Where did it go?
Manager: Jamaica.
Employee #1: Wasn’t it supposed to go to Barbados?
Manager: Yeah…
Employee #2: Not my fault! You can’t blame me!

Miami, Florida

Posted on June 25, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Employees, Florida, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Sexuality

Probably What Got Her in Trouble in the First Place

Cubicle guy, coming around the corner: Stacy… you’re in trouble. Oh… Stacy isn’t here today? No? Well, in that case, I’ll just leave a sticky on her desk for her return.
Guy in next cubicle: Dude, that’s disgusting.

Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Overheard by: Marko

Posted on June 17, 2008
Coworkers, Cubicles, Default, Employees, Florida, Office Politics

The Snack With the Receptacle Tip

Co-worker: Some people buy rubbers for other reasons: I buy them to eat them.

Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Cheryl

Posted on May 23, 2008
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Florida, Meals and Snacks, Weirdness

Low-Security Country-Club Bad, or Don’t-Pick-up-the-Soap Bad?

Client: How bad? Are we talking about just paying the three million, or are we talking penalties bad?
Accountant: We’re talking jail bad.

Broward Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Posted on May 16, 2008
Compare and contrast, Crimes, Default, Florida, Money, Questions, Rich people, The Guilty

Yours Is Like a Freaking Jack-in-the-Box, Though

Specialist peon to manager peon: It’s 3:30 already? My thingy hasn’t been popping up all day!

South Park Circle
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: I didn’t know girls had thingies

Posted on May 13, 2008
Body Parts, Coworkers, Default, Employees, Florida, Sexuality, Time Management

I Also Play the Fallopian Tuba

Woman: I really enjoyed your singing this morning.
Girl who sang: Thanks so much!
Woman: Yeah, it’s always so great when someone just sings straight from the ovaries like that.
Girl who sang: Uhh… [Nervous laugh.]

Hotel
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Annah

Posted on May 7, 2008
Body Parts, Compliments, Default, Employees, Feelings, Florida, Service, Sexuality, Weirdness, Words