Insurance salesman: Now, you can only die once, but you can become disabled many times.
Florida
Insurance salesman: Now, you can only die once, but you can become disabled many times.
Florida
Employee to another: There’s no telling with Farnsworth! There’s no rhyme to his means!
Winter Park
Orlando, Florida
Woman to employee walking by: Almost all these cartons have cracked eggs.
(employee keeps walking)
Woman, muttering: I just thought you might want to know about all these cracked eggs so you could remove them.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: She Didn't Care When I Told Her Either
Guy to coworker at the next urinal, who just farted: Are you serious?!
St. Petersburg, Florida
Receptionist to clerk: Kitty just brought one of those little hybrid cars that get a thousand miles to the gallon. How the hell does she plan to get her big fat Oompa-Loompa children crammed into that little thing?
Kitty, walking into office: Are you guys talking about the Willy Wonka movie? My kids just love those candy bars they sell at the dollar store!
Orlando, Florida
Co-worker #1: Who was that boy? He was cute!
Co-worker #2: It won’t work. He’s a preacher and you’re a whore.
Main Street
Gainsville, Florida
Employee #1: Oh…I think I peed a little! I have to go check. Be right back.
Employee #2: …So how did your pee test go?
Employee #1: No, I didn’t pee. Maybe it was just discharge.
5409 N. Florida Avenue
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Kristen
Coworker who quit smoking four days ago: You know what? I'm to that point now, where I'm starting to cough shit up. I mean, I know it's nasty, but you look in the sink and you say to yourself, “cool…that's not in me anymore!”
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Ashley
Admin to sales: I mean, what if I want to be cremated and my family doesn't want my head sold?
Jacksonville, Florida