Payroll: Have you been outside today? It’s getting really warm!
Employee: Yes, I magically teleported here this morning without ever stepping outside.
22342 Avenida Empresa
Rancho Santa Margarita, California
Payroll: Have you been outside today? It’s getting really warm!
Employee: Yes, I magically teleported here this morning without ever stepping outside.
22342 Avenida Empresa
Rancho Santa Margarita, California
Office lady #1: It’s so cold in here. Oooh! The hair on my arm is sticking up — I didn’t even know I had hair.
Office lady #2: Of course you do! You’re a mammal…
Office lady #1: No, I’m Chinese! Oriental!
Male coworker: I have got to write this down.
185 Cambridge Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Accountant: I don’t know which color is green, but one color is green, and one color is white.
Office girl: What about red?
Accountant: I’m not so sure.
1440 South Clearview Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
New girl: Someone put all this filing on my desk. Don’t we have someone to take care of all this petty crap?
Old girl: Yes. You.
1 Becton Drive
Franklin Lakes, New Jersey
Receptionist: In my head I get banged all the time!
Côte-des-Neiges Road
Montreal
Canadia
Overheard by: better without context
Voice on elevator emergency intercom: Hello? Hello?
Confused woman who just got on: Um…..yes?
Voice: Yes, I’m Karen* from American Express. Can I please speak with Shin Chen*?
Woman: Um…No… You just reached an elevator.
Voice: Oh! Well, thank you for using American Express. If you have any questions, please call 1-800-555-1234*. Thanks for using American Express and have a great day!
541 Willamette Street
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: the other passenger
Grunt #1: What’s wrong with Debbie*?
Grunt #2: Uh, something’s wrong with the gonads on her vocal cords.
Grunt #1: You mean ‘nodules’?
Grunt #2: Oh, yeah.
Colleyville, Texas
Overheard by: quite amused
Cube rat to another: … Or you could try masturbating five times in one day!
Customer, entering moments before: [Clears her throat.]Cube rats: … Shit.
NW 39th Street
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Coworker viewing a Myspace page: Jeff Buckley’s online! He’s dead, how is he doing this?
Frances Avenue
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Busboy: I’m joining the national guard next week. You get lots of tuition for only one weekend a month and two weeks a year.
Manager: Yeah, right. Pick me up a key chain from Baghdad, would you?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
