New girl: Someone put all this filing on my desk. Don’t we have someone to take care of all this petty crap?
Old girl: Yes. You.
1 Becton Drive
Franklin Lakes, New Jersey
New girl: Someone put all this filing on my desk. Don’t we have someone to take care of all this petty crap?
Old girl: Yes. You.
1 Becton Drive
Franklin Lakes, New Jersey
Receptionist: In my head I get banged all the time!
Côte-des-Neiges Road
Montreal
Canadia
Overheard by: better without context
Voice on elevator emergency intercom: Hello? Hello?
Confused woman who just got on: Um…..yes?
Voice: Yes, I’m Karen* from American Express. Can I please speak with Shin Chen*?
Woman: Um…No… You just reached an elevator.
Voice: Oh! Well, thank you for using American Express. If you have any questions, please call 1-800-555-1234*. Thanks for using American Express and have a great day!
541 Willamette Street
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: the other passenger
Grunt #1: What’s wrong with Debbie*?
Grunt #2: Uh, something’s wrong with the gonads on her vocal cords.
Grunt #1: You mean ‘nodules’?
Grunt #2: Oh, yeah.
Colleyville, Texas
Overheard by: quite amused
Cube rat to another: … Or you could try masturbating five times in one day!
Customer, entering moments before: [Clears her throat.]Cube rats: … Shit.
NW 39th Street
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Coworker viewing a Myspace page: Jeff Buckley’s online! He’s dead, how is he doing this?
Frances Avenue
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Busboy: I’m joining the national guard next week. You get lots of tuition for only one weekend a month and two weeks a year.
Manager: Yeah, right. Pick me up a key chain from Baghdad, would you?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Coworker: Is that a copy of Ted Nugent’s new book?
Boss: It is. He and his wife wrote it. Grill It and Kill It.
Coworker: Is that him on the cover? With his wife?
Boss: Yeah. She’s hot, isn’t she?
Coworker: She really is. Way to go, Nuge.
Boss: He must have started seeing her when he was in Damn Yankees. What was their song?
Coworker: “Can you take me high enough…”
Boss: Yeah. Those really were the days.
249 West 17th Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Will Leitch
Coworker: The last time I slept that well at my desk I was two months pregnant.
Durham, North Carolina
Overheard by: BWC
Peon: I can’t believe they’re having us do this even though we’re the low men on the scrotum pole!
Times Square
New York, New York
