Male employee: Oh, I’m sorry. I could’ve scared you and you could’ve fallen.
Female employee sitting in an open, screenless window: That’s okay, you didn’t scare me.
Male employee: You look like you’re going to jump. Please don’t jump out the window. We really need someone to answer the phones.
98th Street and West End
New York, New York
Overheard by: adrienne
Sales guy to customer: Can I have your date of birth and expiration date?
University of North Texas
Denton, Texas
Overheard by: Nikki
Tester: I’m reading this book that will teach you all the Italian you’ll ever need to visit Canada!
1555 Wilson Boulevard
Arlington, Virginia
Co-worker: There were so many Jews in the concentration camps. Why didn’t some of them join together and try and fight the Nazis?
195 Turbot Street
Brisbane, Queensland
Australia
Old lady: Where is your nigger food?
Stocker: Uh, excuse me?
Old lady: You know, the nigger food. The black bird food.
Stocker: You mean the Niger seed?
Old lady: That’s what I said, the nigger seed.
3803 Venture Drive
Duluth, Georgia
Overheard by: I recommend the chink pellets
PhD-level analyst: Oh, the copier is printing the whole five hundred pages of that report! I only want the first page! Stop, stop, stop! Why wont it stop?!
Temp: You have to actually press a button. It doesn’t work on voice command…
75 Washington Avenue
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: brian brinegar
Coworker: Do they speak English in Maine?
Asheville, North Carolina
Overheard by: Native of Maine
Payroll: Have you been outside today? It’s getting really warm!
Employee: Yes, I magically teleported here this morning without ever stepping outside.
22342 Avenida Empresa
Rancho Santa Margarita, California
Office lady #1: It’s so cold in here. Oooh! The hair on my arm is sticking up — I didn’t even know I had hair.
Office lady #2: Of course you do! You’re a mammal…
Office lady #1: No, I’m Chinese! Oriental!
Male coworker: I have got to write this down.
185 Cambridge Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Accountant: I don’t know which color is green, but one color is green, and one color is white.
Office girl: What about red?
Accountant: I’m not so sure.
1440 South Clearview Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
