Dumb Employees

Office peon: Dammit, I couldn’t get this done… even if I did work.

Arizona

Trainer: Oh, you wanna click there? Well you can’t do that click until you’re done clicking the other clicks.
Employees: …

503 Martindale Street
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Ticket taker to patrons: Enjoy the movie! Theater ten is on the left. Enjoy your movie! [In exasperation, at same volume] I really, really hate this job!

Mississippi

Overheard by: Amused Movie Goer

Employee #1: I wouldn’t eat caviar. That’s fish eggs!
Employee #2: I’d try it…after all, I eat chicken eggs.
Employee #3: You eat chicken eggs?…Oh.

6525 N. Sheridan Road
Chicago, Illinois

Engineer: I’m against Google Earth! The terrorists are using it! And the communists!

700 West Capitol Avenue
Little Rock, Arkansas

Person on phone: “My bad” is out in Salt Lake City? Really? I’m just laughing because my son says that all the time. Do you guys say, “snap,” too?

401 North Washington Street
Rockville, Maryland

Overheard by: Listening In

Sales guy: We’re going to go around the room and name unique things about [the company]. If you can’t think of one when it’s your turn, you have to sit down. The last person standing wins a gift card to Starbucks.
Drone #1: Trustworthy.
Drone #2: Resilient.
Drone #3: Global services.
Drone #4: Inspiring.
Drone #5: Focused.
Drone #6: Capabilities.
Drone #7: Multicultural.
Drone #8: People care.
Drone #9: Adaptability.
Drone #1: Secure.
Drone #2: Employer of choice.
Drone #3: Financial viability.
Drone #4: Responsive.
Drone #5: Integrity.
Drone #6: Straightforward.
Drone #7: Ambitious.
Drone #8: Expertise.
Drone #9: Innovative.
Drone #1: Reliable.
etc…

350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY

Peon #1: Yeah, I got the printer from this place that sells refurbished computers. Homeless people do it.
Peon #2: Ahhh, homeless people. What can’t they do?

12 Desbrosses Street
New York, New York

Overheard by: Grace

Employee #1: Stop saying things like that! There are clients in here!
Employee #2: All I said was “r”!
Employee #1: Yeah, but you said it really loud. And like a pirate!

Lake Forest, California

Overheard by: Suzanne

Co-worker #1: So the new governor of New York is legally blind!
Co-worker #2: Yeah, and he’s black. And he’s something else too… Blind, black… And… What else?
Co-worker #3: What else is there?

Burlington, Massachusetts