Manager: Could you make this a lighter red?
Designer: You mean pink?
Manager: No, not pink. A lighter red.
Designer: Uh…
Manager: And this part here — do you have a darker black?
Designer: No, black is pretty much black.
Manager: Well, it needs to be darker than black.
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: bobby
Coworker #1: I love Ben Franklin!
Coworker #2: Me too. He's my favorite scientist!
Coworker #1: You should have a poster of him, and it could say something like “Monsters of Science.”
Boss: What?
Coworker #2: Oh, Ben Franklin is our favorite scientist.
Boss: Oh, I thought you were talking about some hunk.
Collegeville, Pennsylvania
Boss: It’s been a great week, except for the rash.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Boss: I need you to bust out that postcard ASAP! It’s priority number six!
Designer: Um, does it have to be done now or do five other things have to be done first?
Boss: Six is the new one!
Designer: I didn’t get that memo.
15335 Morrison Street
Sherman Oaks, California
Boss: Why didn’t you have a cover letter on the copy to the client?
New employee: I didn’t know I was supposed to have one. I didn’t think to ask if I needed it.
Boss: From now on, if you don’t know the question, you should ask it.
1700 66th Street
St. Petersburg, Florida
Office manager: I’m going to Google time travel!
Winnipeg, Manitoba
Canadia
Overheard by: The Office Bitch
Cube dweller: So I came in today, and my phone is blank, and my computer is disconnected from the network. And there's nobody over in it to help me.
Boss: Call the help desk.
Cube dweller: With what? My phone? It's broken.
Boss: So e-mail it!
San Carlos, California
Overheard by: The Punvert
Suit: On days other than Fridays, slacks are preferred. If you must wear jeans, black jeans are permitted, because they can look like, uh, a slacks process…is…happening.
490 S. Center Street
Reno, Nevada
Overheard by: Good Guy
Manager: We should prepare drawings for the real building instead of the fake building.
Midtown
New York, New York
Overheard by: Drewster
Coworker on phone: You’d be an amazing human being if you brought me some nibbles on your way here. If not, then you’re clearly the mongoloid I always suspected you to be.
401 West Clarendon Avenue
Phoenix, Arizona
