Boss: We’ll have to develop this from Ground Zero principles.
5 Thomas Holt Drive
Sydney
Australia
Boss: We’ll have to develop this from Ground Zero principles.
5 Thomas Holt Drive
Sydney
Australia
Boss: I really want us to go the whole 11 yards on this.
Employees: [Silence.]Boss: Oh, sorry! Twelve. We need to go the whole 12 yards.
3400 North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Office manager: I mean, when we interview warehouse employees, why are we asking them if they have Excel experience?
Warehouse supervisor: What the hell is ‘Excel’?
England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Marketing manager: Uh-oh. I just totally blogged.
4th Avenue and Clarendon Avenue
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: embarrassed for you
VP: Yeah, and if we go over there, we could get all our stuff back. We have a whole bunch of equipment in China stuck in escargot.
Director: Um…You mean escrow?
VP: What did I say? Escargot? Well that works, too, since it’s so slow in getting back to us.
Director: Sure it does.
45th Street and 9th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: melissa
Manager: Could you make this a lighter red?
Designer: You mean pink?
Manager: No, not pink. A lighter red.
Designer: Uh…
Manager: And this part here — do you have a darker black?
Designer: No, black is pretty much black.
Manager: Well, it needs to be darker than black.
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: bobby
Coworker #1: I love Ben Franklin!
Coworker #2: Me too. He's my favorite scientist!
Coworker #1: You should have a poster of him, and it could say something like “Monsters of Science.”
Boss: What?
Coworker #2: Oh, Ben Franklin is our favorite scientist.
Boss: Oh, I thought you were talking about some hunk.
Collegeville, Pennsylvania
Boss: It’s been a great week, except for the rash.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Boss: I need you to bust out that postcard ASAP! It’s priority number six!
Designer: Um, does it have to be done now or do five other things have to be done first?
Boss: Six is the new one!
Designer: I didn’t get that memo.
15335 Morrison Street
Sherman Oaks, California
Boss: Why didn’t you have a cover letter on the copy to the client?
New employee: I didn’t know I was supposed to have one. I didn’t think to ask if I needed it.
Boss: From now on, if you don’t know the question, you should ask it.
1700 66th Street
St. Petersburg, Florida
