Boss: You're just jealous cause you get the water but not the disco dispenser.
Burnaby
Canadia
Overheard by: Working Girl
Boss: You're just jealous cause you get the water but not the disco dispenser.
Burnaby
Canadia
Overheard by: Working Girl
Worker on phone: Team Alpha*.
Client: I'm calling about my emergency assistance.
Worker: You would need to talk to the Emergency Assistance team about that, would you like the phone number?
Client: Yeah, do you have a pen?
Worker: Yes.
Client: Oh, yeah, that's not gonna work, is it?
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Office guy signing card full of glitter: Glitter is like the STD of arts and crafts. It sticks to you and you can't get rid of it.
Ottawa
Canadia
Employee: How do you guys expect to run the fucking country if you can't figure out how to sell a goddamned T-shirt?
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Echo
Project manager: Hope you're hungry, it's take-the-intern-out-to-lunch day!
Intern: All right! Where are we going?
Project manager: Your choice… Between burger king and mcdonalds. And you're paying for your own food. Isn't this going to be fun?
Danbury, CT
Woman in lift, noticing man cleaning doors: I can’t believe they clean a fucking elevator shaft, but it takes them a week to clean dried-up vomit in the foyer!
Queen Street
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Admin
Supervisor: I think my bird is dying. What should I do?
Coworker #1: Put it in a bag and tie it to your car exhaust.
Coworker #2: Put it in the freezer.
Coworker #3: Put in a bag and whack it.
Supervisor: You people scare me… Go back to work.
Chicago, Illinois
Administrative assistant on phone: I was just calling because I have seventy five Nigerians in need of a campus tour, and I know you're good at that sort of thing.
University of Notre Dame, Indiana
Customer: Could you bring some crackers for him? (points to toddler)
Waiter: Sure, do you want me to crumble them up and throw them on the floor for him too?
Murfreesboro, Tennessee
Sales girl: Oh my god… David* is back there cleaning his office and the smell is making my head hurt.
Office manager: What’s he cleaning it with?
Sales girl: The same Fantastic crap under the sink that we all use. I’ve used it on my own desk and never been so overwhelmed by the fumes. Don’t go back there.
Office manager: Why is he cleaning it himself anyway?
Sales girl: I don’t know. (pause) He must be bathing in it. Seriously, I had to get up and walk away.
Office manager: Just close his door.
Sales girl, appalled: I can’t do that! The fumes would kill him! It would be fatal!
Office manager, grabbing her arm: Close the door. Close. The. Door.
England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
