Products VP: Everyone who makes this crap is just as fucked as we are.
Finance VP: If only no one put this in their mouths…
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
Products VP: Everyone who makes this crap is just as fucked as we are.
Finance VP: If only no one put this in their mouths…
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
Tech #1: Should I bring tools?
Tech #2: Nah, you can use your teeth and fingers.
Tech #1: What do you mean?
Computer Repair Shop
Indiana
Coworker #1, reading article: ‘Morphine is highly addictive…’
Coworker #2: Morphine is not addictive.
Coworker #1: But it says right here in this encyclopedia article–
Coworker #2: —Morphine is not addictive.
All other coworkers: It says right here!
Coworker #2: Morphine is not addictive! I know this for a fact!
Lunch break
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Coworker #1: You don't know who Buddy Holly is?
Coworker #2: No.
Coworker #1: “Pretty Woman”?
Coworker #2: I thought that was Richard Gere.
Seattle, Washington
Worker #1: My roommate has this book about all the kinds of poops you can have and what it means about your health.
Worker #2: Kinds of poops?
Worker #1: Yeah, like floaters, sinkers, clean poop…
Worker #2: Clean poop?!
Worker #1: The kind that slides right out and leaves your butt clean.
Worker #2: That should be called “perfect poop”.
Loyola Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Probationee: You’re a good listener. You really listen when I talk to you. You’re like a pedophile.
Probation officer: A what?
Probationee: A pedophile, you know. Someone who is a good listener.
Lancaster County Offices
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Coworker: Is Tom* there?
Secretary: No, he is tied up with someone in his office.
Coworker: Oh…okay, I'll just leave him a message.
Boston, Massachusetts
CTO: You've got welding going on, in your pants… and that's probably not a good idea.
Manhattan, New York
Coworker: Hello, can I speak with Fredrick S Burg?
Customer: Ma'am, we don't have a Fredrick S Burg here, but we live in Fredricksburg, VA.
Coworker: (hangs up phone)
Land O' Lakes
Florida
Worker #1: Did you hear me? I just said I hit my knee on the window.
Worker #2: But there are no windows in your cubicle.
Worker #1: I know, I meant chair.
Worker #2: Hey [worker #3], did you hear [worker #1]? She said window but meant chair.
Worker #1: I also meant arm not knee.
Worker #2: Wait, so when you said, “I hit my knee on the window,” you really meant,”I hit my arm on the chair?”
Worker #1: Yeah.
Worker #2: You’re beautiful.
Rt 31, Illinois
