Boss: You look nice today.
Employee: Thanks, I wore a bra.
Bystander: Wait, what?
Employee, demonstrating: See… Look, the girls are free and easy today. They can do cirles too. Too bad I don’t have any tassles.
Elm Street
Coalinga, California
Overheard by: Still losing the TMI Olympics
Property manager: Is something burning in here?
COO: No, I left my Tibetan incense at home. I only brought my Tahitian bowl today.
Newton Centre, Massachusetts
Male lawyer to photocopier technician: Why do you do all that work rebuilding that part? I would think that you just throw it away and replace it with a new one.
Technician: Nah, we don't throw away parts. If anything, we recycle them. There's valuable metals in there. In fact, copies have hard drives, and when we scrap a copier we remove the hard drive and return it to the customer if they ask. Lots of personal data on hard drives.
Female court officer: I bet Osama Bin Laden in down there in hell, wishin' he had erased his hard drives!
The Bronx, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Worker #1: Well, you’ll need to just put it in Lucy’s* box.
Worker #2: True… Is she here today?
Worker #1: Yes. Just go up to her office and put it in her box or ask her where else she wants it.
Worker #2: Her box is always so full! But I’ll dig around and find some room.
Bloomington, Indiana
Secretary: That thing that cuts paper, what's it called… Paper cutter!
Los Angeles, California
30-something woman: Hehehe, so why are you sneaking out the back way?
30-something man: People are too nosey. I like to stay under the radar; hone my ninja skills.
30-something woman: You are way too wacko.
30-soemthing man: The good part is, when I kick your ass, you won't have seen it coming.
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
Executive secretary: Well, we might be a scent-free workplace, but we are certainly not a stink-free workplace.
Topeka, Kansas
Overheard by: Denise
Supervisor to manager: You know I’m leaving work early today, right?
Manager: That’s right… For what, again?
Supervisor: I’m getting my cat shaved.
(pause)
Supervisor: My cat… like, our pet cat. A feline.
Ambassador East Hotel
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: laughing one cubicle over
Cashier speaking to customer: Well, I was brought up here, but I wasn't born here.
Customer: Where was you born?
Cashier: Well, my mama had me when she went on vacation in Louisiana.
Customer: You was born in Louisiana?
Cashier: Yes ma'am!
Customer: Hm. So you like them crawdads, then?
Cashier: Nah. I just didn't never develop a taste for 'em while I was down there.
Little Rock, Arkansas
Admin: Mike,* will you jump Crissy*? She really needs it, and you're the closest one to her.
Mike*: Sure, let me get my keys. I'll tell ya, it must the the season for it. I've been jumping people all week… (to other executive) Frank*, I'm going to jump Crissy. I'll be right back.
Frank*: I beg your pardon? (pause) Okay, either you're going to get into trouble for what you just said or I'm going to get in trouble for what I just said, but either way somebody's getting in trouble.
Crissy*: No, I laughed. It's okay.
Peabody, Massachusetts
