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Is That Tami*?

Director: Holy shit, come look at this.
Sales manager: Is it that weird animal porn you keep talking about?
Director: What?
Sales manager: Nothing, I'm kidding, what is it?
Director: I'm trying to get to a government website and this keeps happening…
Sales manager: What the fuck? Is that actually animal porn?
Director: This pretty much ruined my day and I wanted to share it with you.
Sales manager: Is that a fucking doberman?
Director, to the rest of the office: Do not go to this website. You cannot un-see this shit!

Fort Mill, South Carolina

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Kids Do the Darndest Things, Huh?

Customer, excitedly: Yeah, if I do exactly as the judge says, I’ll be off of probation in a year!
Old cashier: In a year? Lucky you! My son has four years of probation.
Customer: Four years? Man, that’s tough. What did he do?
Old cashier: He shot someone! [Breaks into hysterical laughter along with the customer.]

South Adams Street
Marion, Indiana

Overheard by: Just wanted to pay for my groceries

Otherwise I’d Be Saying This Stuff to Her Face

Rep #1: She wears disgusting eye makeup…like a tarantula.
Rep #2: Gross!
Rep #1: I know. She looks like a tramp. I mean, she can’t keep her legs closed.
Rep #2: Nasty!
Rep #1: She thinks she is so hot. Yeah, right.
Rep #2: Wait, isn’t she like, your best friend?
Rep #1: Of course!

Plainfield Pike, Rhode Island

This Company Doesn't Have Time or Money to Waste on Prudish Behavior

Employee: Only book it if you're going to put out.

Canoga Park, California

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At Least I Know What Menthol Does to My Lady Parts

Coworker #1: You know, my daughter was telling me that grapefruits can cause cancer.
Coworker #2: Really? Are you sure? I never heard of that.
Coworker #1: Yeah, I'm serious. That's why I stopped eating them… I'll be back, I'm going to go have a cigarette.

Manhattan, New York

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Office Code for “She's Under My Desk”

Dude: Do you know where your wife is?
Sarge: How the fuck are you gonna walk in here on a Thursday morning, come in my fucking office, see that I'm in the middle of writing a fucking important letter, and ask me where the fuck someone else in this fucking building is. I'm sorry, where the fuck do you see a babysitter sign on my desk?
Dude: I'm sorry, I just…
Sarge: Where the fuck do you see it? Where's the fucking sign?

Newark, Delaware

Overheard by: Shaye

To Be Fair, So Does Kate Gosselin.

Employee #1, looking at picture of female customer contact: So she is going to be out for three months.
Employee #2: Maybe she is pregnant?
Employee #3: She if definitely not pregnant, she looks dark almost like the wicked witch of the west!
Employee #1: No she doesn't!
Employee #2: No, she looks completely impregnatable!

Oakbrook, Illinois

Overheard by: Rick B

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So I Just Presented Rearward and Hoped for the Best

Sad girl: How would you like it if you boyfriend hit on another girl while his pregnant girlfriend stood next to him? It made me feel like a fat dog slut.

Macquarie Fields Station
Australia

I'll Eat It Standing Up, Like the Subway Whore I Am

Manager: Yeah, if I get anything more than six inches I just can't handle it… And I get sooooo tired afterwards.
Female worker: It's hard not to eat the whole thing for me, you can always save the rest for later… You want some more now, don't you?
Manager: Yeah!

South Houston

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…And What Kind Of Business Is This “Main St. Cafe”?

Office manager: "what's the name of your company? Okay, main street cafe… And what is your address? Okay 1-2-2 main… Wow, they named the street after you?"

Veterans Hwy, Long Island New York

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