PETCO employee: All of the employees here love the wee wee pads. We use them all the time!
PETCO
San Rafael, California
Overheard by: Housetrained
PETCO employee: All of the employees here love the wee wee pads. We use them all the time!
PETCO
San Rafael, California
Overheard by: Housetrained
Distraught manager: My William Shatner pictures are gone! What happened to my Shats?! [Sigh] Life is like a box of crap…
720 Executive Park Drive
Greenwood, Indiana
Editor, on phone with reader: Sir, the phrase “Stick a sock in it” is pretty common. It’s a common phrase.
[Pause.]Editor: It’s no one’s sock, sir. It’s not a threat.
[Pause.]Editor: Well, I disagree. I think it is a pretty common phrase and I think everyone understood what I meant.
[Pause.]Editor: No, sir, it’s not my sock. It’s nobody’s sock.
Walnut Street
Green Bay, Wisconsin
Coworker #1: So he said “I don't know why humans aren't having children, but this stork sure tastes good!”
Coworker #2: Ha! That's funny!
Coworker #3: I don't get it. Where's the joke?
Coworker #2: Retard.
Manhattan, New York
Boss: It's cold in here. I think there's a draft. Do you feel a draft?
Suit: No. It's all in your head.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Coworker: If she's a whale, then I'm a planet.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Editor: Is there any way we can get hold of someone in accounting to see if this invoice has been paid?
Assistant: I've been trying.
Editor: There's nothing you can check online?
Assistant: No.
Editor: Well, can we sacrifice a cow or something? Will that get it paid?
Assistant: You know accounting is in india, right?
Editor: Gotta hit 'em where it hurts.
Camden Street, Baltimore, MD
Overheard by: I love the smell of blasphemy in the morning…
Boss: Did you draw on my banana?
Hofstra University
Long Island, New York
Technician #1 to technician #2: When the boss asked me where I was at on the calibration I just thought to myself: “If I stand here very quiet and don’t respond maybe he’ll forget he asked me”.
Avionics Shop, Washington
Hungarian coworker with heavy accent on phone with auto repair shop: I drive a 2007 black Foreigner. (pause) Yes, Foreigner, Foreigner -like the Toyota.
Broomfield, Colorado
