Male employee: Oh, I’m sorry. I could’ve scared you and you could’ve fallen.
Female employee sitting in an open, screenless window: That’s okay, you didn’t scare me.
Male employee: You look like you’re going to jump. Please don’t jump out the window. We really need someone to answer the phones.
98th Street and West End
New York, New York
Overheard by: adrienne
Female manager to the ladies in the office: Are you trying to kill me? If you're going to use the lemon spray in the ladies room please spray upwards and not down on the floor. If you're trying to kill me, there are better ways…
Los Angeles, California
Cubicle guy: Man, you wanna hear something funny? My dry cleaner got shot today. What am I gonna do? I got dry cleaning to pick up!
Cubicle gal: What? Oh my god! That's horrible!
Cubicle guy: I know. But what am I gonna do about my dry cleaning? I can't just go over there and say like, “hey, sorry he got shot, but can I get my dry cleaning?”
Cubicle gal: Yeah–that wouldn't be good. Maybe you could wait a couple of days and then go pick it up. Besides, if you go today you might become a suspect.
Cubicle guy: Yeah, that's what I'll do… Good thing it's not a suit I need for the weekend.
Manhattan, New York
Man to group of coworkers discussing Michael Jackson's death: He's one of only two people with immediate name recognition worldwide, the other being Bob Marley.
Washington, DC
Worker #1 (singing): Invoices are making me want to kill myself!
Worker #2: The voices make you want to kill yourself?
Worker #1: No! *In*voices!
Worker #2: Phew!
Century City, California
New-Age employee: Yeah, my granddaughter is an Indigo Child. She can talk to the dead. But, if you ask me, her parents really aren’t doing enough with her talent.
1712 Spring Garden Street
Greensboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Atheist cashier in the wrong line of work
Male exec: I won’t be able to be at the pitch. My grandfather died.
Female exec: Oh my God, I’m so sorry.
Male exec: It’s okay, I still have my other grandfather.
Female exec: That’s why you have two children, right? If one of them dies, you’ve still got the other one, so it’s not so sad.
Dreamworks, 100 Universal Plaza
Universal City, California
Overheard by: Shrek
