You Have to Be Extra Careful When You're a Cyclops

Older female coworker: Yeah, you got to just put your face right under it.
Unfortunate-looking coworker, sighing: With my luck, I'd get it in my eye!

Quincy, Massachusetts

Overheard by: TGIF

Posted on April 28, 2009
Body Parts, Coworkers, Gripes, Massachusetts

Best I Can Do Is Put Salt on Your Glasses

Coworker: Mary, what are you doing?
Mary: I want tequila!

New York City, New York

Posted on April 28, 2009
Coworkers, Drinking, New York, Questions

Neither Did Ronald Reagan.

Coworker: Name three adjectives that you think best describe you.
Intern prospect: Adjectives…is that like “beautiful”?
Coworker: Uh, yeah…
Intern prospect: Okay: I'm patient, organized and I'm a good communicator…but I don't know how to say that.

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: seriously

Posted on April 24, 2009
Coworkers, Indiana, Interns & Temps, Questions, Words

What a Salary Review Feels Like to Your Employees

Office drone to older coworker: I will beat you up and steal your meat, pop.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on April 24, 2009
Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, Pennsylvania, Violence, Weirdness

It's Sweet That You Think You're Attractive, Bonnie

Coworker: Oh, what a cute baby! Maybe you'll have a baby that cute!
Pregnant coworker, looking at pic of cute baby on internet: I'm not counting on it.
Coworker: Ummm…why?
Pregnant coworker: Have you ever noticed how the most attractive people always have the ugliest babies? Yeah, I am not having a cute kid.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Noodle

Posted on April 24, 2009
Coworkers, Family, Internet, Oregon, Physical Appearance, Weirdness

So He Ended Up Giving Me the Speeding Ticket

Office girl to another: He wanted me to dance like Ellen DeGeneres, which I just wasn't feeling.

Third Ave
New York City, New York

Posted on April 20, 2009
Coworkers, Feelings, New York, TV

Like, Remember How We Hooked Up at the Last Christmas Party?

Male worker #1, talking about the future: We probably will all be huge fat blobs staring into our computer screens, like in Wall-E.
Female worker: I doubt it. I bet they'll have a drug that makes everybody really attractive.
Male worker #2: They already do! It's called “alcohol.”

Portland, Oregon

Posted on April 20, 2009
Cinema, Coworkers, Drinking, Oregon, Physical Appearance

It's Almost Like They Have No Compassion, Y'know?

Clerk #1: They said there was problems on the 4 and 5–what does that have to do with the 3? Where did the 3 go?
Clerk #2: They said someone threw themselves on the tracks.
Clerk #3: Did what?
Clerk #2: Threw themselves in front of the train–someone wanted to commit hara-kiri.
Clerk #3: Why they got to do that at this time of day? Why does everyone want to kill themselves during rush hour, but nobody wants to do it in the middle of the night, so we can all get to work?

New York City, New York

Overheard by: Innocent Bystander