Coworker to coworker: I am tired of carrying you. It seems you get heavier every year.
New York City, New York
Coworker to coworker: I am tired of carrying you. It seems you get heavier every year.
New York City, New York
Coworker: Hey, what's that on your pants?
Pocket Hercules: Oh, this? It's just a little protein shake.
Coworker: What?
Pocket Hercules: Wait, that didn't sound right!
Bloomington, Minnesota
Girl #1: It is cold in here.
Girl #2: Well, then wear a sweater.
Girl #3: Can you please turn it down? My ovaries are starting to freeze!
Stony Brook University Medical Center
Stony Brook, New York
Overheard by: laura d
Male coworker: Wait! What's that word mean?
Female coworker: What? “Fellatio”?
Male coworker: Yeah, that.
Female coworker: Oh, jeez. It means “oral sex.”
Male coworker: Ohhhh. Hey, Susanna*, can I fellatio you?
Derry, New Hampshire
Overheard by: TacoSlinger
Coworker #1: We have a woman janitor now. Things have been awkward to say the least.
Coworker #2: Well, you can't discriminate, though. Women janitors need to work too.
Coworker #1: Nothing like having her walk in on you while you are standing at the urinal…or taking a poop and hear somebody walk in and then walk out. And then when you exit the restroom, she is waiting outside the door with rubber gloves and a can of Lysol.
Fairmont, West Virginia
Ultra white female peon: Yo, dat Sea World pen is the shit!
Ultra white male peon: What, thisse one?
Ultra white female peon: Nah, man… The Sea World pen! It's da bomb!
Ultra white male peon: Naw, somebody ganked mine!
Conference Way North, Boca Raton FL
Overheard by: Straight Trippin, Boo
Fat, braless, tattooed, redneck biker-looking kitchen worker: I oughta sue her for defecating my character–talking about me like that!
Incredulous co-worker: Ummm…do you mean defaming?
Fat, braless, tattooed, redneck biker-looking kitchen worker: Yeah…whatever.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: donna
Frantic coworker on telephone: What's the status of Ron's wig?!
Tidewater, Virginia
Girl peon#1: I don't think it's safe to transport raccoons in your car, even if they are in a booster seat.
Girl peon#2: A booster seat is always the exception to the rule.
Hall of Justice
Sacramento, California
Coworker: If Joe Biden rapped, I would totally listen to him all day.
New York City, New York
