Male worker #1, after a meeting: Wanna play hockey?
Female worker: Where’s the goal?
Male worker #1: This is existential hockey. There is no goal. You win when you decide you’ve won.
Female worker: Okay. I’ve won, then.
Male worker #1: Okay.
Male worker #2: They always win.
Male worker #1: That’s true. We can’t win. We’re really not even playing for the same stakes, are we?
800 California Avenue
Sunnyvale, California
Overheard by: Alan
Web developer #1: This is going to be ugly, but I’m going to do it anyway.
Web developer #2: That’s what she said.
Web developer #1: Even I wasn’t expecting that one.
7255 East Hampton Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
Overheard by: Chris Cardinal
Guy: I am full.
Girl: Full of what?
Guy: Full of Dick’s.
539 Queen Anne Avenue North
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Nick D
Peon #1: I'm sorry. I was trying to apply logic to it.
Peon #2: You can't do that. This is a corporation.
San Francisco, California
Becky*: Sometimes, when I’m sick, I think, ‘What did I do to deserve this?’ And then I remember, ‘Oh, yeah — ass to mouth.’
830 W Warner Road
Gilbert, Arizona
Overheard by: Chris Cardinal
Eager coworker: I took a candy bar from you yesterday, but I didn’t have a dollar. And I want to take one again today.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Co-worker #1: Ooh, that smells nice.
Co-worker #2: It’s salami. I got it in Czechoslovakia.
Co-worker #1: I didn’t know the Czechs were famous for salami.
Co-worker #2: They’re not. It’s Hungarian salami.
7520 Astoria Boulevard
Jackson Heights, New York
IT guy: Your laptop is not booting up because you have a stuck function key. What happened, anyway?
Rep (refusing to make eye contact): Yeah, I … uhhh, think I dropped something on it.
It guy: Like what?!
Rep: Ummm yeah, well, like my fist.
Fern Valley Road
Louisville, Kentucky
Associate: What’s up, Dave*? Did you get a promotion?
Managing director at secretary’s desk: No, I just hate the person I’ve become when I’m in my office.
452 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Radio: ‘So if your life has been touched by alcohol or substance abuse…’
Construction guy: That’s me!
125th Street and Lenox Avenue
New York, New York
