Of Course, If the Taxpayers Foot the Bill, It’s a War

Front desk agent #1: So anything involving more than five people is considered a gang-bang then, since you don’t have “five-some”. That just sounds weird.
Front desk agent #2: It has to do more with the girl-to-guy ratio. If the ratio is close to one to one, then it’s an orgy. Otherwise, it’s a gang-bang.

Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: Lobby Patron

Posted on June 23, 2008
Canadia, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Employees, Names, Sexuality, Words

Mind If I Eat One of the Bananas?

19-year-old receptionist to middle aged salesman: I love your hat -I would totally wear it if I were drunk.

111 Street, Fort St John
British Columbia, Canadia

Overheard by: Mama C

Posted on June 12, 2008
Canadia, Clothes, Compliments, Default, Drinking, Receptionists

In the Workplace, the “F” Stands for “Fudge”

Manager to employee: Amanda, WTF?
Employee: Did you just swear at me in acronym?

Vancouver
British Columbia
Canadia

Overheard by: Tessa MacKinnon

Posted on June 9, 2008
Canadia, Coworkers, Default, Employees, Insults, Weirdness, Words

Does a Strip-o-Gram Qualify?

Cute brunette: I have to buy my 92-year-old grandmother a gift, what should I get her?
Old hag of a coworker: Something perishable.

Downtown Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Rhymes with Regina

Posted on May 26, 2008
Advice, Age and ageing, Canadia, Coworkers, Default, Questions

Or the Fact That It’s Leaking

Female coworker #1: There he is in his fancy car.
Female coworker #2: Yeah, he’s totally making up for something.
Female coworker #1: See, I drive a family car, so I’m not concerned about the size of my clitoris.

Scarborough
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: C.note

Posted on May 7, 2008
Body Parts, Canadia, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Insults

…Outside the Context of Our Basement.

Female cube worker #1: Have you ever heard of that black and blue ball thing? You know I would never go to that.
Female cube worker #2: Oh yeah?
Female cube worker #1: Yeah. My uncle and brother go to that. And my uncle only wears chaps.
Supervisor walking by: Are you guys working?
Male cube worker: Anyways, why don’t you go?
Female cube worker #1: Well, frankly I just wouldn’t want to see them in that state.

Taylor Avenue
Winnipeg, Manitoba
Canadia

Posted on April 30, 2008
Bosses, Canadia, Clothes, Coworkers, Cubicles, Default, Employees, Family, Pop culture, Questions

I Need to Know Whether Asking Murphy* Out Will Require Tapping My Foot in a Bathroom Stall

Man: Is Murphy* a man? Or a woman?
Woman: Does it matter?
Man: Um yeah. I was going to ask Terry out, and the shape of his? Her? Genitals rather matters to me.
Woman: Bigot.

Church in Victoria
British Columbia
Canadia

Posted on April 4, 2008
Body Parts, Canadia, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Feelings, Friends, Insults, Physical Appearance, Places, Questions, Sexuality

Okay, Okay, She Gets the Jizzt.

Contractor: Ma’am, just so you know for the next time we’re called in, caulking is not spelled C-O-C-K-I-N-G. It’s C-A-U-L-K-I-N-G.
Red-faced manager: Oh!

Retirement home
Oakville, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Giggling

Posted on March 18, 2008
Bosses, Canadia, Consultants, Default, General Idiocy, Words

I’m Hanging Up Now, Sir.

CSR: Okay, sir, I’m now going to give you your confirmation number: 5-9-7*-M as in ‘Michael’– No, M as in ‘Michael.’ No, I know your name is not Michael, sir. I’m saying ‘M as in Michael.’ Okay… 5-9-7-M as in ‘mother’– Sir… Yes, I’m sorry… I’m not saying you’re a woman, sir…

999 de Maisonneuve Boulevard
Montreal
Canadia

Overheard by: Monika

Posted on March 17, 2008
Canadia, Customer Service, Default, General Idiocy, On the phone