Worker bee #1: Hey, have you ever been at your buddies' house and really had to fart, but you didn't want to so you held it in for the longest time, but then you finally had to let it go, and just as you do his mom walks down the stairs?
Worker bee #2: I really have no idea what to say to that.
Worker bee #1: Yeah, it's never happened to me either, though I guess it's only a matter of time.
Lethbridge
Alberta
Canadia
Account manager: That's like the pot calling the kettle black. Wait a minute… Is that racist?
Assistant: Wanna know what is racist? Cotton picking!
Winnipeg
Manitoba
Canadia
Overheard by: Chelsea
Engineer on phone: I could try to sell you a penis enlarging pump instead, if you’d like… No, of course it’s not used!
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Designer, during meeting: You can get a lot done in a threesome if you have an alliance.
Ad Agency
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: worried coworker
Retiree visiting the office: I was working on the windows and running around the yard with my caulk in my hand, and I have this neighbor, Dave*, who was standing in the bushes, and I didn’t see him. But Dave scared me and there was caulk everywhere — caulk all over the windows and caulk on my hands. No, I’m serious, there were inches of it coming out! You guys aren’t even listening to me! I didn’t know what to do about all of the caulk on my hands but I called the 800 number on the side of it and the guy said that friction could get it off.
110 Nelson Road
Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Canadia
Office worker to colleague: Hey, is it okay to put tinfoil in the microwave?
Office manager, from the kitchen: Fire!
Northern Canadia
Guy #1: So, what did you get her for Christmas?
Guy #2: Oh, man, she’s gonna love it — I got her a padded toilet seat!
Guy #1: Cool.
Lime Ridge Mall, 999 Upper Wentworth Street
Hamilton, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: laughing myself stupid
Office guy #1: Are you coming over tonight?
Office guy #2: Yeah, I'll be there.
Office guy #1: Okay, I'll pull it out and wipe it off.
Regina
Canadia
Overheard by: Vince
Man: Is this the Information counter?
Bored worker: Yes.
Man: Can I have some information?
Université de Montréal
Canadia
