Cube jockey #1: Attack me now like how you are talking about.
Cube jockey #2: If I attack you horizontally, it will cut open your middle.
Cube jockey #1: I know. That’s okay. Do it anyway.
Santa Clara, California
Cube jockey #1: Attack me now like how you are talking about.
Cube jockey #2: If I attack you horizontally, it will cut open your middle.
Cube jockey #1: I know. That’s okay. Do it anyway.
Santa Clara, California
Boss: You look nice today.
Employee: Thanks, I wore a bra.
Bystander: Wait, what?
Employee, demonstrating: See… Look, the girls are free and easy today. They can do cirles too. Too bad I don’t have any tassles.
Elm Street
Coalinga, California
Overheard by: Still losing the TMI Olympics
Employee: What's that on your head? (pause) Oh, a hat.
Stanford University, California
Boss to coworker: “Booger” is a good word. So is “butthole.” That one makes me laugh.
Ojai, California
Ubergeek on phone: I am up in Davenport right now, and it's quite clear, and rumor has it Schwarzenegger will be here tomorrow.
Neighbor geek: Stop pretending like you go outside and can enjoy good weather.
Davenport, California
Boss: Hey, my mouse arrow is reversed on the screen.
Worker: What…how?
Boss: If I go this way, it goes that way…Oh, never mind, I was holding it upside down.
10199 Riverford Road
Lakeside, California
Coworker: So it'll be a big circle-jerk, a big emergency.
Ventura, California
Tech: …and if it gives you any problems, just call me. Any time, doesn’t matter. I sleep with my cell phone.
Lawyer: I’ve slept with worse.
11377 West Olympic Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Eve Z. Dropper
Menopausal admin to cube farm: I'm late for my mammogram appointment… If anybody needs me, that's where I'll be.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Minding my own
Male coworker: I can't find that file he was talking about anywhere.
Female coworker: I swear, if I have to keep listening to your screeching voice anymore, I'm going to start killing babies.
Los Angeles, California
