California

Publisher rep: This guy did a study on blind men who use prostitutes.
Book buyer: Ok.
Publisher rep, whispering: For sex.

308 Westwood Plaza
Los Angeles, California

New Hire: Is there a limit on the annual tuition reimbursement amount?
Admin: Tuition…That’s for schools, right?
New Hire: Uh, yeah. Is there someone else I should talk to about this?

1301 Dove Street
Newport Beach, California

Male coworker #1, walking up to soda machine: Yippee, a free soda!
Female coworker: That's good karma.
Male coworker #1: Yeah, I earned this! Whoever lost this did some bad things.
(walks out smiling with two sodas)
Male coworker #2, entering: Hey! Who took my drink? I left it while I went to the bathroom.
Female coworker: What were you doing in the bathroom?

San Diego, California

Supervisor: Are these numbers right?
Employee: Yeah, I double-checked.
Supervisor: The sales manager said that they were under budget!
Employee: Well, numbers don’t lie. Salespeople do.

17777 Center Court Drive
Cerritos, California

Employee #1: Thanks for the coffee. You didn’t pee in it or anything, right?
Employee #2: Oh my god, you are like my freaking wife!

101 15th Street
San Francisco, California

Drone on phone: Oh yeah, my friend had that disease, he died… I’m sure you won’t die, though.

Storke Road
Santa Barbara, California

Overheard by: angelina

Short coworker behind tall coworker’s chair: I wish I were tall enough to hover more effectively.

Roseville Road
Sacramento, California

Overheard by: BanditCat

Caller: Does your search allow for a wild card?
Presenter: Sure … Um … What, exactly, is a wild card?

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: dailin dailer

Accountant: By the way, fuck Betsy Ross.

Santa Monica, California

Employee #1: My brother-in-law just found out that he’s having a boy. It’s their third kid.
Employee #2: Wow, three? I’m only planning on having two.
Employee #1: What’s wrong with three kids?
Employee #2: Nothing’s wrong with it, but I believe in zero population growth.
Employee #3: That’s not for normal people, that’s for families in like China and India…admit it, you’re probably going to kill your girl babies too.

130 Cremona Drive
Santa Barbara, California