Accountant: By the way, fuck Betsy Ross.
Santa Monica, California
Accountant: By the way, fuck Betsy Ross.
Santa Monica, California
Employee #1: My brother-in-law just found out that he’s having a boy. It’s their third kid.
Employee #2: Wow, three? I’m only planning on having two.
Employee #1: What’s wrong with three kids?
Employee #2: Nothing’s wrong with it, but I believe in zero population growth.
Employee #3: That’s not for normal people, that’s for families in like China and India…admit it, you’re probably going to kill your girl babies too.
130 Cremona Drive
Santa Barbara, California
New admin asst: Where can I find this address?
Office manager: I usually just google the company name and get it from their website.
New admin asst: You what?
Office manager: I look it up on google.
New admin asst: What's google?
Santa Anita Arcadia, California
Exec: Babies don’t go online! Mothers do.
163 Freelon Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Eve S. Dropper
Warehouse Manager: Be sure to take all the plywood runners, and all the woodchucks you can find.
Driver: “Woodchucks”?
Warehouse Manager: Yeah, put them under the wheels to help with traction.
41049 Boyce Road
Fremont, California
Boss to coworker, as they leave office: All right, I'll meet the goddamn baby!
Los Angeles, California
Dispatcher to supervisor: The customer on the phone is pissed off and talking about canceling all her services.
Manager, walking by: It's because we suck!
San Francisco, California
Executive: Our new company motto is “Fuck it!” Can we put it on our website?
1777 North California Boulevard
Walnut Creek, California
Boss, offhandedly: I love this company. I want to have sexual relations with this company.
Confused employee: You mean…in the company building? Or…with the company?
Southern California
Office manager: We kinda have a policy we sorta have to follow.
5757 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
