Male coworker, after giving himself makeshift manicure using staple remover: So I guess I'm not too good at that.
Female manager: Are you bleeding? Well, suck on it before you get an infection… and stop touching yourself!
Male coworker, whimpering: Aaaww…
Female manager: Gross!
San Diego, California
Overheard by: that's why you pay people to do that…
Salesman: Yeah, I’m fucking fed up with that guy. He hasn’t sent in his reports for weeks. Just keeps flying out to Texas. What the fuck are we paying him for, anyway?
Manager: Texas? What’s he doing in Texas?
Salesman: Oh, apparently his dad died or something.
3000 Birch
Brea, California
Chick #1: That’s a really nice dress. How much did it cost?
Chick #2: Oh, um, $3500.
Chick #1: $3500! For a sun dress?!
Chick #2: Oh! You said “dress.” I thought you said “breasts.”
3200 Fifth Avenue
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Snarfed my Soda
Coworker on phone: If you want to know any good 12-year-olds, I can tell you. Just ask.
Rancho Cordova, California
Overheard by: Over H. Eard
Office manager to bookkeeper: If things made sense around here, it wouldn't make sense!
San Carlos, California
Manager: Yeah, in order for me to work it out, I had to bend over backwards and slap some K-Y jelly on it.
Radio Shack
California
Overheard by: Stephen
Health Exec: You working late?
Tech Exec: Nah, downloading porn. You?
Health Exec: Oh, you know it. Nursing administration porn. Woo-hoo!
Tech Exec: Send some my way. I’ll send you some telecommunications porn.
Health Exec: “Oh baby, show me your phone. Let me see your router.” Good times.
595 Market Street
San Francisco, California
Boss: [Bryan], can you help me? I can’t seem to find my HTML. It’s just not there anymore.
15 Altarinda Road
Orinda, California
Crazy new guy: I was reading a book about serial killers by that guy who came up with profiling. It listed traits of a serial killer and I have five of the nine traits. No one around me had better go missing or I'm going down for it.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Thanks for the warning
Grunt: Can I get those itineraries?
Agent: No, life’s a bitch.
Grunt: Life’s what you make of it, not what it makes of you.
3675 Ruffin Road
San Diego, California
