Boss: You want a raise? You come back after three weeks of vacation and spend more time in the bathroom than you do working. Maybe I should install a timeclock in there.
107 Chesley Drive
Media, Pennsylvania
Boss: You want a raise? You come back after three weeks of vacation and spend more time in the bathroom than you do working. Maybe I should install a timeclock in there.
107 Chesley Drive
Media, Pennsylvania
Boss: Did you see [Martha]’s eye?
Underling: No, why?
Boss: She’s got pink eye.
Underling: Oh wow, that sucks.
Boss: I’m afraid.
Underling: Why?
Boss: [Martha] was looking at me all day.
Underling: What?
Boss: I can get pink eye if she looks at me, right?
Underling: I don’t think pink eye is communicable via the act of looking.
8270 Greensboro Drive
McLean, Virginia
Boss: Well, I threw myself in front of the bus for you.
Marketing chick: It didn’t work then?
Boss: I threw myself hard, but nah.
Marketing chick: Too bad.
Boss: Yup.
Wharf 8 Pyrmont
Sydney, Australia
Employee: Welcome back. Are you feeling better?
Supervisor: Well, I am fully clothed.
1930 Bishop Lane
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Eve’s Dropper
Project Manager: I’m working on Chronic Constipation and should be done with it later today. How is Ulcerative Colitis coming along?
Multimedia Developer: Good. Should have it for you tomorrow for review. What’s up with Vaginal Discharge?
3339 Ward Street
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Boss to office: The midget has a whip!
Mitchelton
Brisbane
Australia
Overheard by: Beka
Boss, walking from cube to cube: Hello, Amanda*, how's it going?
Amanda: Getting raped with work, Bill.* You should know that.
Boss: Don't worry, I am raping all of my employees this week.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: i'm next in line
Large lesbian boss to employee: I'm going to give her a mouthful… Uhm…I mean a…uhm, eyeful, uhm…wait, earful. I'm going to give her an earful.
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Trying not to picture it
Manager: New haircolor, huh? Did you fall into a bucket of paint?
Employee: New belt, huh? Did you fall into a buffet?
5760 Highway 80 East
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Boss: I need you to email this to [Kevin].
Assistant: No problem, I have the electronic version right here. I’ll email it out in a sec.
Boss: Great…Oh, and make sure my notes don’t show up when you send it out.
Assistant: Your notes?
Boss: Yeah, the notes I wrote there in the margins.
Assistant: Um, don’t worry. They won’t.
Boss: Great, thanks.
Assistant: Just fucking retire already…Jesus!
300 West Pratt Street
Baltimore, Maryland
