Economist: It’s not my fault — I know how to circulate a memo.
Supervisor: Well, don’t think you’re putting that on your resume.
Government building
Washington, DC
Overheard by: highly qualified
Economist: It’s not my fault — I know how to circulate a memo.
Supervisor: Well, don’t think you’re putting that on your resume.
Government building
Washington, DC
Overheard by: highly qualified
Owner: So, Gary*, did you ever tell Lou* that he could not get a check for any steel order we needed?
Gary: No, no, no, I have never done that.
Lou: What about last week?
Gary: Well, we didn’t have any money then.
Provo, Utah
Overheard by: Poking my eyes out
Employee: Sounds like your kid might need to get some professional help.
Boss: You know what I wanna do? Give that kid a fucking Valium and send him off to a wilderness camp!
Employee: Uh…
Florida
Boss to employee: Can you google dead people?
Erie, Pennsylvania
Boss, looking at photograph: Geez, look at the smile on this guy!
Peon: That’s a mustache.
Middlemount, Queensland
Australia
Overheard by: Glad he shaves…
Secretary: Good morning, Mr. [Stirner].
Caseworker: Good morning. Oh shit! What happened to your hair?
Secretary: Nothing, why?
Caseworker: Everytime I see you, your hair is a different color. what color will it be tomorrow?
Secretary: I haven’t decided. What color do you suggest? Green, purple, gold?
815 Broadway
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: BabyGirl
Boss: Sorry about being slow with the orders this summer. I was depressed and almost left my husband. Moving on, I have now ordered some new backpacks for us to sell.
North Washington
Scranton, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Becky
Receptionist on intercom: Can I go to the bathroom?
Supervisor: Uh…sure. Why would you ask me that?
Receptionist on intercom: Because you told me I should always ask you first if I was ever unsure of what to do in a situation.
Supervisor: Do you not know how to use the restroom?
Receptionist on intercom: Well, what if you tried to intercom me and I wasn’t around? What would–
Supervisor: Just go!
165 Nassau Boulevard
Garden City, New York
Male boss: Are those cupcakes handmade?
Female subordinate: We don't do hand jobs here!
Washington, DC
Overheard by: This isn't Starbucks
Drone #1: I am trying really hard to stay away from these cookies on my desk.
Drone #2: Oh my God, tell me about it. Those cookies are GOOD.
Drone #1: Maybe if I look at how many calories they have, it’ll be easier to stay away. One cookie, 120 calories.
Drone #3: Well, how many calories are you supposed to have?
Drone #1: I don’t know. I think 2000 calories is supposed to be average.
Drone #3: And the cookies are 120? Then you can eat all you want!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
