Boss: Paychecks didn’t come again today. I can lend you money if you need it.
Employee: I have a wedding rehearsal dinner for 50 that I need to pay for this Thursday.
Boss: Well if I lend you the money to pay for it then I’m coming. Where is the dinner?
Employee: I’m not telling.
551 W. Cordova Road
Santa Fe, New Mexico
Boss on phone: No, no, no, the corner office. Not the one with the goat beard!
11150 Santa Monica Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Call center worker: What does it mean, “do not ship domination”?
Call center supervisor: What?
Call center worker: “D-o-m-i-n-i-o-n.”
26600 SW Parkway Avenue
Wilsonville, Oregon
Warehouse supervisor: Hey, I have to start having these bi-weekly meetings now…
Sales chick: Oh, that sounds like fun.
Warehouse supervisor: Tell me about it. Anyway, is there anything you can think of that I need to address? … Bi — that means every other week, right?
Sales chick: Um, yeah.
Warehouse supervisor: I just don’t like that word. Bi. It just sounds wrong.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Boss: Hey, can you help me? I need to make a floor plan for the new office.
Underling: Yeah, sure. What are the dimensions?
Boss: It’s 10,000 square feet.
Underling: Yeah, but what are the dimensions?
Boss: What do you mean? It’s 10,000 square feet.
Underling: Yeah, but like what is the length and width?
Boss: Just make it 10,000 square feet.
Underling: But is it a square, or a rectangle, or what?
Boss: Uh, make it a rectangle.
712 South McClintock Drive
Tempe, Arizona
Manager: Did you receive it?
Employee: Yes! I know what to do! If I get it, I will shove it in her box. I know how to do it!
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Mike
Boss: We’re changing the name of this business unit to BSE.
Employee: You mean, like, Mad Cow Disease?
5720 Peachtree Parkway
Norcross, Georgia
Manager: That’s how I graduated from one of the top five business schools in this country [leaves].
Cubicle chick: Is anyone else proud of him? I’m proud of him.
Manager, returning: I cheated my way through business school, and that’s how I graduated at the top of my class.
Cubicle chick: Mr. Kline*!
Manager, back in own office: I didn’t know what I was doing, so I just cheated all through school. And that’s how I graduated.
Cubicle chick: Sooo… Does that mean I can cheat, too?
Manager: No!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Boss: How come you’re late?
Employee: I had a hard time deciding which eyeshadow looked best with blood shot eyes.
5760 Highway 80 East
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Manager: Hey there… What are you doin?
Support: Just some really ugly updates to [client]’s website
Manager: Ahh, who cares as long as it’s billable.
Support pauses. . .
Manager: It is billable, right?
8840 Commons Boulevard
Twinsburg, Ohio
