Assistant: Are you leaving early?
Attorney: Yep.
Assistant: Why? It’s only 3:30.
Attorney: ‘Cause I like to drink.
1900 Pearl Street
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Staja
Assistant: Are you leaving early?
Attorney: Yep.
Assistant: Why? It’s only 3:30.
Attorney: ‘Cause I like to drink.
1900 Pearl Street
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Staja
Clerk #1: Bob and Mark left on a service call.
Manager: Did you tell Mark to dump Bob off on the side of the road, like a puppy no one wants, instead of bringing him back?
Clerk #2: Hey! We're not that mean here. We like puppies.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Head of department: Can someone give an example of a person in the department going above and beyond the call of duty?
Woman: [Jane]. She does so much, not just for our group, but for other groups as well. I don’t think there’s anyone in the department [Jane] hasn’t serviced.
1200 12th Avenue South
Seattle, Washington
Manager #1: Are we meeting sometime, today?
Manager #2: We already met.
Manager #1: Oh. Did I miss anything important?
Manager #2: Well, you missed the meeting.
19 N. 6th Street
Reading, Pennsylvania
Waiter #1, pointing: Tammy’s* either gettin’ a poochy belly, or she needs to trim that beaver.
Waiter #2: It’s beaver. I fucked her last month, after her sister died, and I thought I was suddenly in a ’70s porno.
Manager: You guys need to go find something to clean.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Beauty shop owner: I need to know what day you'll be in to clean the floors, and you'd better stick to it or I'll kill you.
Floor cleaner guy: I've got to die sometime… It might as well as be by your hands.
Conroe, Texas
Sarge: You’re lucky somebody around here likes you.
Office peon: Lots of people like me!
Sarge: Stuffed animals don’t count.
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Shaye
Employee: Did you punch your mother?
Manager: You know…some mothers just deserve to be punched.
Arizona
Overheard by: George
Boss: [Bryan], can you help me? I can’t seem to find my HTML. It’s just not there anymore.
15 Altarinda Road
Orinda, California
Supervisor: Here’s the information about Alzheimer’s to include in the news release I was telling you about.
Employee #1: I don’t know anything about this release.
Supervisor: Oh? Oh no? Then who was I talking to about it?
Employee #2: Hey, it’s ironic that you don’t remember who you were talking to about the Alzheimer’s information.
Supervisor: Oh, ha, ha, ha! Yes!…So, you can just use this information for the release.
Employee #1: Okay, but I still don’t know what you’re talking about.
Supervisor: Hmm…Hey, isn’t it ironic that I don’t remember who I was talking to about an Alzheimer’s release?
161 Ottawa Avenue NW
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: Beth Marie
