Black cube rat (comparing voter registration cards): Yours is much better than mine.
White cube rat: But yours is colored.
Black cube rat: Yours is thicker.
(pause)
White cube rat: Let's just not talk for the rest of the day.
Black cube rat: I, uh, gotta go.
Washington, DC
Executive assistant: So I'm going to a different lab this time, so I don't get the bitchy Nazi titty tech.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: grabbed mine and kept on walking
Coworker #1 (looking in the mirror): Did you notice that I was wearing blue eyeshadow today?
Coworker #2: No, I didn't.
Coworker #1: Thought it would bring out my blue eyes, but it just makes me look like a whore…
Addison, Texas
Overheard by: emily
Coworker showing visitor around office: And this is Dave*, he's the big cojones around here.
New York City, New York
Boss: This tastes like ass.
Worker: How do you know what ass tastes like?
Boss: Because I was drunk and missed.
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Check-out clerk: How are you doing today?
Customer: I'm good, how are you doing?
Check-out clerk: My stomach hurts. Too much drinking.
Woodinville, Washington
Overheard by: Can sympathize
Manager of TV company: I like Val Kilmer but his rep can kiss both sides of my ass.
Burbank, California
Tech dude #1: So I told him to stop putting dirt in my hole.
Tech dude #2: Uh…that makes me uncomfortable.
Dallas, Texas
Suit to another: You don't have to suck my dick. Just put some pressure on it…
Irving, Texas
Overheard by: Thoroughly Amused and Confused
Office manager to female coworker: It doesn't matter what it looks like, as long as it's hard.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Oh no she didn't
