Boss: It's about time! You're finally back, you know Kristen isn't here.
Employee wearing a heart monitor: Yeah, I know she's out sick.
Boss: Do you know how she's feeling? Will she be back tomorrow?
Employee wearing a heart monitor: No, but my doctor said I'm having heart problems.
Boss: Well, you look fine and you're here, so that's not a big deal.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Woman on speakerphone: Get off my back! Now!!
Coworker on phone: Uh, excuse me??
Woman on speakerphone, flustered: Sorry…I meant my cat.
Palo Alto, California
Overheard by: bluesage
Boss: (blows nose)
Annoyingly nice coworker: Are you alright? Can I help you with anything?
Boss: Are you serious? I'm blowing my nose. How do you want to help?
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: lori
Male coworker #1: I'm having trouble concentrating today.
Male coworker #2: That's because you can't stop looking at me.
Male coworker #1: Every time I look at you, my retinas vomit into my glasses.
Ballarat
Australia
Overheard by: vMan
Woman to room full of coworkers: I'm not gonna shove a ring up there for a month!
Richmond, Virginia
Woman on cell: If you're going to get a vagina, you may as well get a nice one.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: fetishgirl
Tech guy to another, under the desk plugging cables: Sorry, dude! Didn't mean to teabag you.
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: neelia
Office drone to coworker chewing Big League Chew: Your mouth smells like T-Ball.
Woodlands, Texas
Attorney: It's not so cold out.
Secretary: Is that why your nose is bright red?
Attorney: No, that's because I've been drinking.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: amused intern
Cubicle dweller on phone: The problem is: it's a very large pole with a very small head, and it's very ridiculous-looking.
Bristol, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: signguy
