May I Borrow Yours?

Female coworker: I definitely didn't see a rodent in my bag.

Stillwater, Oklahoma

Posted on March 30, 2009
Animals, Employees, Oklahoma, Weirdness

That's a Date We'll Never Forget

Employee, on 9/10: Ohhh…I just realized what tomorrow is.
Boss: Talk like a parrot day?
Employee: Uhh…no.

Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: Intern

Posted on March 26, 2009
Animals, Bosses, Employees, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Ohio

Or The Exorcist. I Forget.

Drone #1: I had a really disturbing dream last night.
Drone #2: What was your dream?
Drone #1: I dreamed that my grandmother cut off my cat's head and was eating his body.
Drone #2: Oh my god! What were you watching last night before you fell asleep?
Drone #1: The Republican National Convention.

56th & Madison
New York City, New York

Overheard by: the8ball

Posted on March 23, 2009
Animals, Body Parts, Coworkers, New York, Politics, Questions, Sensory Experiences

And They Get Mad When You Try to Put Them on a Leash

CEO on phone: I love immigrants, they're so cute. They're like dogs when you talk to them and they turn their heads and look at you, and try to understand.

McLean, Virginia

Overheard by: Septimus

Posted on March 13, 2009
Animals, Bosses, Feelings, On the phone, Virginia, Weirdness

The Safest Balloon Animals in the State

Editor: You blow up the condoms, and I'll make the dog.

Palo Alto, California

Overheard by: Mollena Williams

Posted on March 5, 2009
Animals, California, Sexuality, Weirdness, Writers and Editors

…Before I Get Out My Riding Crop.

Attorney: Don't make any appointments for me this weekend, I'm going to a rodeo.
Minion: Are you in it?
Attorney: Yeah.
Minion: I didn't know you rode.
Attorney: Well, if you put enough hardware on it you can ride anything.
Minion: (laughing)
Attorney: I meant the horse.
Minion: (laughing uncontrollably)
Attorney: Get out of my office!

Little Rock, Arkansas

Overheard by: Does it come with instructions?

Posted on February 17, 2009
Animals, Arkansas, Body Parts, Employees, Lawyers, Questions, Sexuality, Sports

Your Wife or Your Daughter, Sir?

Man walking down hallway: And I've lost the rhino somewhere…

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on February 11, 2009
Animals, Canadia, Physical Appearance, Strangers

Which Is Why I Still Use One at Restaurants

Girl peon#1: I don't think it's safe to transport raccoons in your car, even if they are in a booster seat.
Girl peon#2: A booster seat is always the exception to the rule.

Hall of Justice
Sacramento, California

Posted on February 10, 2009
Animals, California, Coworkers, Legal, Weirdness

It's Better to Be Well-Bred Than Thoroughbred

Working girl #1: I am so glad I'm not a female horse.
Working girl #2: Well, if you were a female horse you'd be built for that.
Working girl #1: I don't want to be built for that.
Working girl #2: I'm just glad I'm not a female horse.
Working girl #1: That's what I just said!

Office Building
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Care

Posted on January 30, 2009
Animals, Coworkers, New York, Weirdness